


The Many Flavors of Karkat Vantas

by CapriciouslyDoomed



Series: The Many Flavors of Karkat Vantas [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, F/M, Hinted Gamzee/Tavros, Hinted Rose/Kanaya, Humanstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-28
Updated: 2012-09-23
Packaged: 2017-11-13 02:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 37,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/498332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapriciouslyDoomed/pseuds/CapriciouslyDoomed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>None of this was supposed to happen. You weren't supposed to be thrust into some event that would make even the worst of romantic comedy writers pity your cliche life. Survive this hellhole called high school, and try not to screw everything up. That was your goal. At least it was, before the maniac with the strange glasses and white cane was thrown into your life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

None of this was supposed to happen. You weren't supposed to be thrust into some event that would make even the worst of romantic comedy writers pity your cliche life. Get through one day, and then the next without causing too much damage in the lives around you. That was your goal. Survive this hell hole called high school, move away, and try not to screw everything up.

But life took a turn for the worst. People were introduced to you who, honestly, you shouldn't give a shit about. But grudgingly, you do.

That's when everything went downhill.

* * *

"Karkat. Just the young man I was looking for."

 

You turn around at the call of your name and glare as hard as you can at the teacher in front of you. A few drops of melted snow fall from the front of your hair onto your forehead, ruining the look of intimidation. It's too early for this shit.

 

"What?" You reply bluntly.

 

Your math teacher isn't amused as he returns your glare through his rectangular glasses. He'll just have to fucking deal with it. It wasn't like you had to walk to school in a fucking blizzard. Oh wait, you did. What kind of school even stays open during this sort of weather anyway? If you lived anywhere else, you'd be at home right now. Sleeping. But no, not in this sorry excuse for an educational facility.

 

"I need you to come with me. The principal would like to speak with you."

 

"Can't we just get whatever I did wrong out in the open now? I need to get to class." You work your tone to sound tired more than anything. Maybe just this once, he'll feel sorry for you.

 

"This isn't about anything like that."

 

He turns, leaving you no choice but to follow. It's only a couple of hallways away until you're entering the principal's office and sitting in one of the two chairs across from him.

 

The office is uncomfortably small. It probably doesn't help that the furniture is larger than necessary. You're slightly shorter than average for a seventeen year old, but that isn't any excuse for the fact that it makes you appear to be five.

 

"Mr. Vantas." He greets you.

 

"Your majesty." You mock is formal tone.

 

It takes a minute before you can fight back the familiar wave of nausea that you usually get when here. It didn't help that the entire office was made out to be in various shades of green. What kind of douche decides to decorate their entire office green, anyway? The King of Douches, apparently.

 

"Are you listening to me, Mr. Vantas?" He quickly grabs your attention again, with a more serious voice. You roll your eyes.

 

"Yes, I'm fucking listening."

 

"Language, Mr. Vantas."

 

Letting out a sigh, your roll your eyes again and refrain from the spew of curses you want to release. "Why am I here?"

 

"As you probably know, you're currently failing two of your classes. Chemistry and-"

 

"Math. Yeah, I know. My grades in those classes are the equivalent of the level of any colour other than green in this room. Zero. What about it."

 

For the first time in awhile, you want to hurry up and get to class. The much too large chair you sit in is making you feel smaller than usual. Does he do this to all of his students? Find the biggest fucking chairs that were in stock at Ikea or some equally shitty store just to fuck them over? It was sociopathic, when you think about it. Probably some sort of power play to get you to do whatever would be asked.

 

"I spoke with your teachers," he began. You notice that for some reason his tone never changed from being calm and monotone. "and they agreed that if you helped with this, you'd receive enough extra credit to pass your classes."

 

"Help with what?"

 

"We have a new student joining us, and - because of her disability - she will need some help growing accustomed to our school. I've chosen you as a sort of 'host', to assist her."

 

"No."

 

"Excuse me?"

 

"I'm sorry, did you not hear me? I said no. Get someone else to do it."

 

"I'm afraid there isn't anyone else to do this."

 

"That's bullshit." You stated, fists clenching. Normally you'd jump at the chance to be put into a position of power and responsibility, but you had a very strict routine at this school. Show up, talk to as few people as possible, and get the hell out. And now some girl was trying to fuck it all up.

 

"I promise that I speak nothing but the truth." He then excuses himself for a moment and leaves you waiting in the room alone. You can hear a few mumbles on the other side of the door, but ignore them. Bringing a hand up to your black hair, you try to brush the now melted snow out of it.

 

It isn't long before Mr. Scratch returns, this time with a girl who looks to be the same age as you. She has straight, black hair that falls to just above her shoulders. There isn't anything too extraordinary about her - at least with her red-rimmed sunglasses on. It's when you looks down and see her white cane, that everything clicks. She's blind.

 

"Karkat, this is Terezi. Terezi, Karkat." He introduces the two of you as she drops to sit in the chair beside you. The girl - Terezi - flashes you a wide grin before turning to breathe in a large breath of air through her nose.

 

"Why is everything so... green?" She comments. Before he could give an answer, you speak up.

 

"How the hell could you know that everything is green? You're blind. Or did you somehow manage to forget that vital piece of information that is the fucking catalyst of us being here today."

 

"Karkat."

 

"It's fine." She interrupts, turning to you. "Someone's just in a bad mood today." She gives you another of what could only be described as a shit eating grin. That, along with her condescending tone, makes you cringe. You refrain from flipping her off, telling yourself that there will be plenty of time later.

 

Eventually, you are told what is expected of you. About how you're supposed to meet Terezi every morning in front of the school, help her get to her classes, and answer any questions she may or may not have. Grudgingly, you nod along, and the next thing you know he's writing her locker number and lock combination for the two of you.

 

Practically being shooed away from his office with a broomstick, you look at the crumpled piece of paper in your hand.

 

"Okay let's go." You begin to walk down the hall when you feel a hand grab onto your arm. "Whoa what are you doing."

 

"How am I supposed to follow you if I don't know where you're going? Seriously, I'm rolling my eyes at your right now."

 

"Whatever."

 

You walk in silence, not used to the hallways being so quiet. Jesus christ did they just send everyone home and decide to let you wander around for their own sadistic humor? The soft mumbling beside you is unnoticeable until you pause for a moment to inspect a locker number.

 

"What the fuck are you even doing?" You ask, beginning to walk again.

 

"Counting."

 

"Why?"

 

"You know nothing about being blind, do you?" Jesus christ does she ever stop smiling like a maniac?

 

"Seeing that I've never been blind, I'm going to have to say no."

 

"So I know how to get to my locker on my own." For some reason beyond you, she lets out a laugh that nearly makes you jump.

 

It's after a lot of pointless bickering ("What sort of name is Karkat, anyway?" "Coming from the girl named Terezi, I'm not going to take that failed attempt at an insult to heart."), you finally manage to find Terezi's locker and open it for her.

 

You stand back and watch as she slowly places her bag's contents into the locker. After the usual binders and textbooks, she places a small plushy in the shape of a dinosaur on one of the shelves. Then, beside it, a box of chalk for whatever reason. You consider leaving - she's doing fine on her own. And it's not like there isn't anyone else around to ask for help. It's when you see Terezi tape a picture onto her locker door, that you finally shake yourself from your thoughts and speak up.

 

"Who's that?" The girl in the photograph has long, dark brown hair. So long, that it falls past her waist. Her red eyelashes stood out the most - fake ones, you assume. They somehow managed to match the exact colour of her dark red dress.

 

"Just an old friend."

 

"What happened to her?"

 

"I killed her."

 

Your eyes flash from the photo to Terezi in an instant. A "What the fuck?" is all you have a chance to say before she lets out a manic giggle.

 

"I'm kidding! God, you're so gullible." Meanwhile, you just continue to stare at her. Clearly, this Terezi girl is a homicidal maniac. Here she is, acting like there's something wrong with  _you_  for believing her. Normal people don't fucking joke about things like that.

 

"You know what?" You finally manage to pull yourself together enough to form coherent sentences. "I'm done with this shit. I'm going back and finding someone else to help you and your crazy. If this was a horror movie, it would be when the young, naive lead is mislead into trusting the serial killer. But nope. Not fucking happening, princess."

 

"Did you really just call me princess?" If she wasn't laughing at you before, she certainly is now. However, you continue on as if nothing happened.

 

"None of this ever happened. I am going to class, I am then going to lunch, and finally I am going home. Alone. So have fun with try to execute whatever sinister plan you had for me on someone else."

 

When you finally walk away, she's still giving the laugh that both causes you to cringe and set your blood boiling.


	2. Chapter 2

It's the next day, and you're back in the obnoxiously green chair. Mr. Scratch has been lecturing you all morning on proper etiquette, and to be honest, you're getting tired of it.

Apparently this meeting has been arranged because one of the other students found Terezi in the hall shortly after you had left. While you don't know what happened after that, you're guessing it wasn't the Friendship Is Magic picnic that you hoped to imagine.

"... however, Mr. Vantas, you're lucky that I'm a very merciful person."

That captures your attention, and you raise an eyebrow. "Lucky?"

"Lucky enough to be receiving the second chance you don't necessarily deserve... Tomorrow morning you are to meet Ms. Pyrope at the front doors of the school. No excuses." He speaks to you as if he's some sort of god. Like he should be praised for taking time out of his day to speak with you. Slouching, you don't even bother arguing. You know when a battle is a lost cause.

"Can I go to lunch now?"

He barely has time to nod before you're bolting out of the door, and stumbling into the crowded hallway. Right into Terezi.

"Hey there, Karkat." She grins at you, and suddenly you realize that she was probably waiting for you. It's not paranoia if it's probably true, you think to yourself. Quickly, you bend over to pick up your backpack. Which has spewed all of your shit onto the floor. Why didn't you zip up the damn thing earlier?

"How did you know that it was me?" You frown. Jesus fuck this day wasn't going to get any better, was it?

"You have a very distinct smell." When you don't give a response - you're too busy glaring at her - she finally deflates. The smile slowly is pulled off of her face, and you find yourself frowning as well. Fuck you should have said something. Freaked out. Made some sort of sarcastic comment. Anything, really. Because as terrifying her smile was, it was still a lot better than seeing her like this.

"You need to get a sense of humor." She finally declares, before turning around and walking away.

"Wait, where do you think you're going?"

"To class. Just like everyone else."

Rolling your eyes, you quickly catch up and walk next to her. "I thought you needed my help to get around." Keeping your tone low, you try to cover up the fact that your genuinely curious. Shit, why are you even curious in the first place?

"I've learned that there are many more sympathetic students here. Ones who are actually nice to the new girl." Her voice makes you look down in shame. Was she really going to play the blind girl card? It's not your fault if you were an asshole yesterday.

Suddenly her cane hits you in the shin. "God damnit." You have to try your best not to shout.

"Sorry."

"You're not fucking sorry. You did that on purpose, you uncaring, violent, asshole. Is this how you treat everyone who tries to help you? Swinging that thing around like a maniac and hoping that maybe one day you'll get lucky enough to cause a collision worthy of a ten car pileup. Well congratulations, mission accomplished." The words fly out of your mouth before you can stop them. It's true, though. There was no way that she normally swung her cane around with that much force.

Once again that laugh is ringing in your ears, and the Terezi from yesterday is back. For some reason, a small part of you is relieved. You promptly tell that part to go fuck itself.

You're still grumbling by Terezi's side when the two of you enter the cafeteria. It's quiet, but that's nothing unusual. Not many students bother to stay and eat the shitty food.

"So, where are we eating?" She asks, obviously noticing that the two of you had paused in the doorway.

"You're making the assumption that I'm letting you eat with my friends."

"Wow. Karkat has friends?" She teases, and you're slightly concerned that you're going to get a serious eye problem after rolling them so much today.

"Fine, you can sit with us. We're over here." Not wanting to slow down your usual walking pace, you grab her forearm and lead her across the cafeteria.

"This is Terezi." You grumble when the two of you arrive at the rectangular table. "Terezi, this is Sollux, Vriska, Eridan, and Feferi." They all exchange hellos before you nearly collapse into a chair.

"Someone's in a good mood." Sollux comments, before eating a bite of the food that has clearly been picked at. The slight lisp takes away the edge of his sarcasm.

"I'm in a fan-fucking-tastic mood, thank you very much. A ray of sunshine, that's me." You begin digging in your bag, looking for lunch. The day hell freezes over is when you'll buy food here.

When you finally snatch your sandwich and soda out of your bag, you take the chance to look up. Sollux is sitting across from you. Beside him is Feferi, and on the other side of her is a very distraught looking Eridan. You should probably see what's going on between the three of them, but the amount of drama that would occur with merely explaining the situation... It isn't worth it. Instead, you look to Terezi who is now sitting beside you. She's discussing something with Vriska - whom had apparently moved to sit across from her - very animatedly.

A few minutes pass, and everyone's conversations have resumed to as they were. Terezi is letting out giggles that belong in a horror film, Sollux is nodding along to whatever Feferi is saying, and Eridan watches with envy. It's only when a girl with a pixie hair cut, and extremely fair skin sits next to you that you feel a slight sense of relief. Finally, someone who isn't out of their fucking mind has joined you.

"Hey Kanaya." You say, letting only enough of the relief slip into your voice so that she will notice.

"Hello, Karkat. How are you today?" Her voice is calm, as always. You merely groan in response. Immediately she opens her mouth, and you know that she's going to offer giving advice on how to smooth out whatever problem you have. Quickly, you make sure to interrupt.

"No, it's nothing."

She gives a shrug before taking a small, paperback novel out of her bag. "I finished reading this last night, and thought you might enjoy it. Think of it as a sign of my appreciation for letting me borrow that DVD last week."

You quickly take the paperback, and begin reading the short summary. The cover already told you that it was going to be some sort of trashy romance novel, but regardless, you keep reading. While Kanaya doesn't share your taste in RomComs, she had admitted to having an entire shelf of reading material similar to this on her dresser.

However, just as you're reading the last line, the book is snatched out of your hands.

"Oh what do we have here?" Apparently in the time that you were reading, you hadn't noticed that Terezi and Vriska had stood up to move behind you. You glare as they flip through the pages, eager to boast of their findings.

"That," you growl, nearly ripping the book from Vriska's hands, "is none of your goddamn business. I'm sorry, but do I have a sign on the back of my head that says 'Oh Vriska, please come and bother me! Terezi, listen in on my conversations, and shove your freakishly talented nose into all of my business!'?" Just for dramatic effect, you pat the back of your head. "Oh, what's that? There isn't a sign here? I guess that means that you should go back to whatever you two were gushing about like a couple of twelve year old school girls." You shove the paperback into your bag and release a huff of breath.

After turning around, there is a pause before Terezi finally speaks - the grin evident in her tone. "Is he always this angry?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Come on, Terezi." Against your better judgement, you continue to listen as Vriska speaks up. "Clearly we're not wanted here. I'll just go introduce you to Dave, like the helpful person I am. Unlike some people."

Waiting until you hear their footsteps leaving, you finally snap your head to Kanaya. "Why is Vriska taking her to Strider?"

"If you had been listening, you'd know that Terezi has expressed some interest in meeting him."

"Fuck."

"What's wrong, Kar? Are you suddenly realizin' some romantic feelings towards this girl?" The new voice is at a level of smugness that you can only manage to find pathetic.

"Stop trying to pull me into your sick, twisted love triangle, Eridan." You finally snap, and the entire table goes silent. Obviously whatever was going on between them hadn't been discussed yet. Normally you'd have at least an ounce of patience for this sort of thing, and honestly, you feel a bit guilty for bringing it up. Grumbling, you stand up, making the pathetic excuse of not feeling well.

The afternoon doesn't go much better than lunch.

You walk to up Terezi's locker, and see her drawing on the inside door with a piece of bright blue chalk. What was up with that, anyway? Wasn't that some sort of cheap attempt at vandalism? You clear your throat before speaking, "So how was meeting the infamous Dave Strider?"

"Good." She turns around to beam at you. Apparently it was better than 'good'.

"That's good, I guess." You're grumbling, and you know it. Why did Vriska have to introduce Terezi to Strider of all people?

"You don't make it sound like it is." She laughs, before adding teasingly, "Is someone jealous, Karkat?"

"Jesus christ, we've known each other for what? Not even two days. What kind of fucking logic is that? Oh, I know. It's Strider. His lessons in douchedom are already rubbing off on you, aren't they? Today you think that everyone loves you, and by next week you'll be wearing those piece of shit sunglasses with him."

The smile on her face doesn't change after your small rant, and instead she merely turns to get her books out of her locker. "Why do you hate him so much?"

"I don't need a reason to hate him. It's called having a personal fucking opinion. The fact that if I feel like hating on that douchenozzle, then I have the right to freedom of speech to fucking do so."

"... That isn't how freedom of speech is supposed to work. Trust me, I'm taking Government and Law. I know this stuff like the back of my hand."

Letting out a frustrated sigh, you face-palm. Literally. Fucking. Face-palm. By the time you're finished, this girl is going to have you reduced to pathetic tears. Why did every single conversation with her have to be so fucking difficult? "Metaphor, Terezi. It's a goddamn metaphor on my reasoning behind hating whoever the fuck I feel like hating when the moment appears to be pleasing."

"Well, I think he's nice. Nicer than you, at least."

"Yeah, yeah. I think everyone here can confirm that I'm the world's biggest asshole. Let's just get over it and get you to class. Some of us don't want to be late."


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning you find yourself walking to school, just like every other day. The snow has let up a bit, with only a few spare flakes dropping from the sky. You end up turning the volume on your iPod up, to drown out the crunching of the snow beneath your feet.

Yesterday Terezi ended up not only making you late for Math, but also English. While your English teacher was a bit more flexible, seeing that Terezi shared the class with you, you know that she won't be as forgiving if it happens again today. Which you most definitely won't let happen again. This morning, you even made the point of planning out which hallways you would take from now on, in order to be as quick as possible. Not like you'd actually let her know that, though. She would probably just make some comment about your devotion to this tedious task, and let out that laugh of hers.

You finally get onto the school grounds, and glance up to see her waiting for you at the front doors. She's wearing a short black jacket, that causes her red sneakers to jump out at you even more than they normally would. Slowly, you turn off your iPod and shove it into your own coat pocket.

"Terezi." You say stiffly.

"Hello, Karkat." She grins, and turns to begin walking to the entrance. You quickly take a step in front of her and open the door. There's not a single doubt in your mind that she would have kept on walking if you hadn't.

"You're quite the gentleman." Terezi teases, stepping through the doorway. "Who would have thought."

Immediately you cringe. "Shut up." You mumble, suddenly embarrassed at the fact that she completely misinterpreted your intentions. "It was either opening it for you, or chancing that you might walk into it yourself. And I don't need any other fucking interruptions in my life that would occur if you were to injure yourself on my watch." Your voice is full of authority, but she seems to see right through it.

"Whatever you say, Karkles."

This is where you had planned to part, in order to go to your own lockers, but her comment takes you by surprise. Instead, you end up walking with her to her locker.

"Karkles? Did you really just call me that? What the fuck is a Karkles?"

"You. You're the Karkles, Karkat."

"Just..." Inhale. Exhale. You close your eyes for a brief moment. No, this isn't going to get to you. "Don't call me that shit, okay?"

"Okay."

"... Wait, really?"

"Yes." Turning towards you as the two of you stop at her locker, Terezi frowns and gives you a strange look. "Isn't that the fair thing to do?"

Without thinking, you give her the same look. Almost assessing her. "You're really..."

"Nice?" She prompts.

"Weird. I'll see you before class starts." You turn away and begin to walk the way you two had taken, to get back to your own locker.

"Bye, Karkles!" A voice behind you shouts before giggling loudly. Grinding your teeth, you look over your shoulder to see that shit eating grin. You should have known that things were going over too smoothly.

* * *

Overall, the rest of the day goes very much like yesterday. Right down to you brushing off Kanaya's attempts to help you at lunch. The only difference is that when Vriska and Terezi speak, it's loud enough for everyone to hear. Dave this, or Dave that. You eat your food with a grudge to the point that you're grinding your teeth more than chewing. The more you listen, the more you have to refrain from punching yourself in the face. But for some reason, you have the insanity to stay. It's like a dead animal in the middle of the goddamn road. No matter how hard you try not to, you still have to look. When Sollux asks if there's something you would like to share with the group, you simply shake your head and tell him to fuck off. The only good part of the afternoon is that Terezi doesn't seem to question your hallway plan.

Slowly but surely, the days start to go by more quickly. Spending time with Terezi becomes a bit more manageable, but you still aren't afraid to yell until your face goes red and you're gasping for air. Unlike when you met Kanaya, or Sollux, she doesn't seem fazed by it, though. Usually you'll just be ignored, but sometimes she'll yell back at you. Shouting matches occur regularly, but it's gotten to the point where that's just how you talk to each other. It takes awhile, but the two of you can finally carry on a conversation like two human beings.

Two crazy, uncivilized, human beings. But humans none-the-less.

Before you know it, three weeks have passed. Three weeks of insanity, bickering, and frustration. You're almost certain that Terezi knows her way around on her own now, and when you wake up on Monday there's a slight spring in your step as you get ready for school.

Today is the day that you are free from Terezi Pyrope.

You meet Terezi at the front of the school, as usual. She makes a comment about your unusually good mood, and you merely shrug in return. This is your last day. This is your last day. This is your last day. You repeat those words to yourself until they become some sort of mantra.

By the time you're in Chemistry, you begin planning how you're going to let Terezi know that your god-awful journey together is over. Although you would never admit it out loud, the process ends up taking the entire period. Whatever, it's Chemistry.

You finally decide that after lunch would be the best time. The most convenient, anyway. At least then she can have Vriska take her to class if needed. Because you are done. Fucking finished with this period of slavery.

The entire lunch period, you're bobbing your leg up and down in anticipation. Twenty minutes and you're free. Twenty minutes. Surely you can survive that.

"Is something on your mind, Karkat?" Kanaya asks from beside you. "You seem a bit... distracted."

Your eyes flash to her. "No. I'm fine. In fact, I'm the fucking poster boy for being so damn fine, that it's unhealthy. Physicians put glossy photos of me in their shitty waiting rooms to warn little children that if they ever feel as fine as I do, they might have some fucking terminal illness when they turn sixty."

"Are you sure?" Her voice lowers greatly, so that only you can hear her. "Because you seem to be looking at Terezi quite a bit."

Your eyes widen at her accusation. "What the hell are you talking about? I've only looked at her what? Three times-"

"- Seven."

"It hasn't been seven! There is no way in hell my eyes could even handle looking at her seven times while eating. I'd end up vomiting the contents of my stomach all over her shitty dragon shirt." You let out a breath and get back to your food. No fucking way. "Even if I have," you hiss at her, "it's only because she's being so goddamn loud. And for christ's sake, how do you even know these things?"

"Well, first of all," she sets her can of lemonade on the table before smoothing out her red skirt, "I don't know what  _you've_  been hearing all lunch, but she's only spoken twice. It seems that Vriska is the one doing most of the talking today. And second of all, I've been counting."

"Yeah, because that's not a fucking weird-ass thing to do."

"Insults won't take away the truthfulness of the facts, Karkat. I only point out these things because I care for you as a friend."

"You've been hanging out with that LaLonde chick too much." You grumble in defeat. She doesn't respond, but instead takes another sip of her drink.

After eating, you pass the hallway that leads to Terezi's locker. Freezing, you look to see any sign of her. She's there, inspecting her dragon plush. The hall is empty. This is your chance.

You approach her, and although your shoes didn't make a sound, she turns the moment you're close. Shit, how does she do that?

"Hey, Karkles."

"I thought I told you to stop fucking calling me that. In fact, I did. About twenty times. Yet somehow the message isn't getting through your fucking noggin." Immediately you're cringing. Dear, sweet, fuck. Did you really just say that? Why the fuck did you say that? Maybe she won't notice. Maybe, just maybe, this one time God will have mercy on your soul and she'll ignore the sorry excuse for words that just left your mouth.

The laughter says otherwise.

"Karkles," There's that idiotic name again, "you're reeking with embarrassment. Why are you even here? There's at least twenty minutes until we go to class."

"Right, about that." Yes. This was it. You could practically feel the excitement to be free of this girl running through your veins. "I was thinking that we should stop this."

"Why?" Her tone isn't accusatory, just inquisitive.

"It's been three weeks. It's not like you really need my help anymore." She simply nods in return. "And even if you do ever need help, I'm sure Strider would be more than willing."

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

God fucking dammit jesus christ that was not something you were planning to say. Immediately you can feel the glare Terezi is giving you from behind her dark glasses, and your stomach sinks. Profanities run through your head faster than you can say them.

"Is this because of Dave?"

"No! This has nothing to do with that asshole. At all." You can see that she doesn't believe you. Why the fuck won't she believe you when you're actually telling the truth.

"Look, just because you hate him doesn't mean that I have to."

"I never said it did."

"Well, you make it perfectly clear how you feel about Dave. But, that doesn't make it fair for you to take it out on me."

"Jesus I don't take it out on you. I don't care about you and Dave. And this has nothing to do with him."

"Your words stink of deceit."

" _Deceit isn't a smell!_ " Whatever excitement you had been feeling earlier has left your body; replaced with a boiling anger. "How many times to I have to say that I don't give a _flying fuck_ what you and Strider do behind closed doors before you start actually listening to me? I honestly could not be more apathetic about your relationship with him. If you two want to go and make little hipster babies then go right ahead. I. Don't. Care."

Your hand hits the locker door beside you for emphasis. It doesn't even affect her. This is definitely the closest that the two of you have ever gotten to a real fight. The first one in which Terezi has become furious, at least. Looking down at her clenched hands, you see that they're shaking. It feels like the two of you are frozen in place for hours before her face becomes void of emotion.

"Fine. You want to stop? Stop." She takes her cane from her locker, and unfolds it.

Students are beginning to fill the hall, getting ready for class. Too busy waiting for something to happen, you hardly take notice.

"See you around, Karkat." Terezi shuts her locker door painfully calmly after retrieving her books. She walks right past you as if you aren't even there.

All of the rage you felt has evaporated. The burning in your chest, and clenching in your stomach. It's just gone; leaving you empty of emotions. You do your best to ignore the fact that that was the first time she used your real name in weeks.


	4. Chapter 4

You've always had a bittersweet relationship with Valentine's Day. The flowers, the candy, the sorry excuse for those in a relationship to shove each other's tongues down their throats. It made you nauseated. All Valentine's day really was, was a day for disappointment. But fuck you if it wasn't interesting to watch others desperately try to survive it. You'd observe from afar, ever since you were a kid. It was entrancing, really. Almost like watching the Discovery Channel. Here, in their natural habitat, we have the ridiculously horny teenagers. If the audience listens closely, they can almost hear the pathetic way that the couple promises to "love each other forever". A rare, and pointless mating call.

It was fucking fascinating.

That was why as Valentine's day approached, and the school hallways slowly became overthrown with pink hearts, you couldn't help but take note of the fact that once again, you were single. Not that you weren't constantly reminded of that with Eridan around, anyway. However, if someone had told you you'd be spending that fateful Saturday at Terezi's house - and on her bed no less - you probably would have kicked them in the shin.

* * *

After Terezi leaves you with your thoughts, it takes a few minutes for your brain to begin functioning properly. Class. You need to get to class.

You end up being the last to show up. So after bursting through the door, you can feel everyone's eyes burning into your back as you approach your desk. Fucking fantastic.

The class goes somewhat smoothly once refocused on work, and before you know it, you're thinking about parabolas, equations, and variables rather than Terezi. At least you were, until the bell rings to shake you out of your trance. You have never loathed that bell so fucking much.

When you see her, she's walking ahead of you in the hall, cane in hand. It feels pretty fucking weird, if you're honest with yourself. Not being able to just walk up and start spewing insults. Maybe if you act like it never happened, she will too.

_Wait._

Why are you even considering going up to her in the first place? Did you suddenly have an aneurysm and forget what you had felt at lunch? The crushing sense of loathing that made you want to set yourself on fire? Figuratively, of course. No. You aren't going to talk to her. For the first time in weeks you are free of her crazy, and you aren't going to take that for granted. This is a fucking miracle, and you need to take advantage of it. That was the sane thing to do.

By now, you've reached your place and are sitting down. She's sitting three desks to your right - not that you notice. Or counted, for that matter. Between the two of you is Vriska, and an empty desk. The desk remains empty for only a few minutes, until a girl who is nearly as short as you comes practically skipping over to sit down. The hood of her blue sweater covers her short hair, and the beady eyes of the cat face on it glare as she turns to face you.

"Hey, Karkat!"

"Nepeta." You greet her, keeping your gaze straight ahead.

"How are you today?"

"... Fine."

"Are you ready for Valentine's day next week?"

When you finally do look over, you see a pair of round, jade green eyes looking over at you.

"I guess."

"..."

"Can you... just stop watching me like that? Please?" Unfortunately, you had realized awhile ago that Nepeta has grown feelings for you. Ever since, it made you feel a bit uneasy. No matter how many insults you threw her way, she just couldn't seem to understand that you wanted to hate her as much as the rest of the general populace. However, at the same time you haven't exactly rejected her in so many words. To be honest, the real reason is because you don't want to deal with Equius.

When the teacher begins speaking, you don't realize you had been holding your breath until she looks away.

* * *

The rest of the week goes by much more slowly than usual. It's accompanied by your grumbling, Eridan's complaining, and Sollux's sarcasm. The only ones who seem to be in decent moods are Feferi, Kanaya, Vriska, and Terezi. The latter two don't sit with you at lunch often now, but are constantly making noise from where they are seated. Which is, of course, with Douche Strider and his chums.

On top of everything going on, here's a small electric charge going through the student body that isn't helping anyone. With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, many girls are hopefully eyeing the boys. It's ridiculous, and cliche, but every time you look at Terezi she's giving Dave that same look. The burst of anger it sets off concerns you a bit. However, it doesn't concern you enough to keep thinking about it.

By the time you get home on Wednesday, you've thrown your tattered backpack onto your bedroom floor and turn on your laptop. Your dad will be at work until at least the evening, and you want to make the most of your time. Also known as ignoring whatever homework you have been assigned, and doing jack shit as you scroll through the internet aimlessly.

The next thing you know, you're laying on your bed, head propped against the pillows with the laptop on your stomach. The clock tells you that you've been watching Youtube videos for the past hour. However, it feels as if you had just sat down ten minutes ago. A small musical note crackles out of your speakers, with a notification from Pesterchum popping up on the side of your screen.

_**\- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] is now online! -** _

You click on the notification, allowing it to open up a new chat window.

**\- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 16:32 -**

**CG:**  HEY.

The caps-lock brings an unfriendly reminder of your aggressive typing. You used to only use the caps-lock key for when you were especially angry. But it had gotten to the point where you alternated from regular typing to virtually shouting at idiots on the internet so often that the key had gotten stuck. Too lazy to take it to someone and get it fixed, it's been like that ever since.

 **GA:**  Hello Karkat  
 **GA:**  How Are You This Evening  
 **CG:**  PRETTY GOOD.  
 **CG:**  CONSIDERING.  
 **GA:**  Considering What  
 **CG:**  THAT I HAVENT HAD TO DEAL WITH LITTLE MISS PSYCHOPATH.  
 **GA:**  Isnt That A Good Thing  
 **CG:**  OF COURSE IT IS.  
 **CG:**  WHY WOULDNT IT BE.  
 **GA:**  It Just Seemed That You Two Had Grown To Become Somewhat-Friends In Your Time Together.  
 **CG:**  HA. HAHA.  
 **CG:**  OH HOW YOU MAKE ME LAUGH KANAYA.  
 **CG:**  HAHAHAHAHAH.  
 **CG:**  YOURE FUCKING HILARIOUS. THE EPITOME OF TASTEFUL HUMOR.  
 **GA:**  It Was Merely A Suggestion  
 **CG:**  CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE?  
 **CG:**  SHES GONE. DONE. OUT OF OUR PATHETIC LITTLE LIVES.  
 **CG:**  LETS MOVE ON.  
 **GA:**  You Do Realize That She Most Likely Isnt Going Away Any Time Soon  
 **CG:**  WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?  
 **GA:**  Its Been A Week And Nothing Has Changed  
 **GA:**  Aside From Your Participation In Conversations  
 **CG:**  WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN.  
 **GA:**  Youre Not The Only Friend She Has Karkat  
 **GA:**  It Looks Like She Has Bonded Quite A Bit With Vriska  
 **GA:**  As Well As Sollux  
 **GA:**  Which Is To Be Expected When You Look At Their Interests  
 **CG:**  TEREZI DOESNT HAVE INTERESTS. AT LEAST NOT OUTSIDE OF BEING AN ANNOYING PIECE OF SHIT.  
 **GA:**  After All Of The Time That Has Passed  
 **GA:**  Have You Even Considered Treating Her Like A Respected Human Being  
 **GA:**  Or Asked About Her Personal Life  
 **CG:**  ...  
 **CG:**  YOURE WITH LALONDE AGAIN, ARENT YOU?  
 **GA:**  Youre Avoiding The Subject  
 **CG:**  YOU ARE.  
 **CG:**  ADMIT IT.  
 **GA:**  Yes  
 **GA:**  Rose Is Sitting Beside Me  
 **GA:**  But She Has Assured Me That This Conversation With Be Completely Confidential  
 **CG:**  FUCK

**\- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 16:56 -**   
**\- carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 16:57 -**

_**\- carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now offline! -** _

You shut the laptop with more force than necessary, and shove it to the foot of your bed. This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening. You refuse to let yourself believe it. It was pretty obvious that neither of them were close with Terezi, or else they would know that it was impossible to carry a conversation of worth with her. For the first time since it happened, you think over the argument from last week. What if there really was nothing going on with Dave? Had you made up the entire thing? You shake your head. No. You see the way she talks to him. It's obvious.

Pulling your pillow out from beneath your head, you use it to muffle the groan that comes from your mouth. This was so fucking pathetic. The whole point of that disaster was to get away from Terezi, not think about her even more.

The ringing of the phone shakes you from your thoughts. Getting up, you check the caller ID. Private number. Fucking great. What was the point of even paying for this shit if it wasn't going to tell you who was calling half of the time?

"Hello."

"Karkat."

"Who is this?"

"Rose."

"What the hell, did Kanaya give you my number?

"No, she's in the bathroom. I've borrowed her cellphone. Don't think that just because you've blocked us both on Pesterchum, that I don't know how to use a real phone."

"Okay, I'm hanging up now."

"You need to fix whatever happened between you and Terezi. Soon." Her voice is urgent now, as if she's being rushed.

"Why the fuck would I do that?"

"Preferably before Valentine's Day."

"First of all, fuck no. Secondly, you really think that I could get her to forgive me in two days? And finally, fuck you, you-"

"- From what Kanaya has told me, this will be in both of your best interests - "

You ignore the rest of whatever she's saying to hang up. Why won't people mind their own fucking business and leave you alone?

The phone rings again. And again. And once more. It keeps ringing until you're ready to throw it at the wall. After almost half an hour, you finally resolve to leave the phone off the hook. That works out pretty well, until there's a knock at your door.

"This is a form of stalking. Also, harassment. I hope you're both aware of that!" You shout through the front door, as you lean with your back against it. At one point you even manage to kick it with the back of your heel.

"Just let us in, Karkat." Kanaya tries to reason with you.

"Nope, no fucking way in hell. I thought that you were above this insanity, Kan, but apparently not."

"We just want to help."

"Then go visit a fucking homeless shelter."

There are many more pleas ("Just five minutes." "I swear to god if you don't leave me the fuck alone I'll call 911."), until there's a pause and Kanaya simply says your name. _Begging._  Jesus fucking christ. You unlock the door, and swing it open. In front of you is Rose and Kanaya both shivering as it snows, regardless of the fact that they're nearly covered head to toe in winter wear. "Get inside you annoying fucks." You grumble.

Almost instantly they're inside. Coats, boots, scarves, and whatever else they were wearing thrown in a pile as they follow you into the living room. They sit next to each other on the couch, and you take your own place in the chair across from them. The only thing between you is a small wooden coffee table that holds your drinks. Suddenly you feel like you're back in middle school, getting lectured by your dad for mouthing off to the teacher.

"So what could possibly be so important that you've gone through all of this to see me?"

"Obviously you need help with Terezi."

Immediately you cut in. "I have no interest being friends with her."

"Karkat," Kanaya says, unusually calm, "I've seen you at lunch for the past week. All you do is watch her with Dave, or sulk."

"That's bullshit."

"Karkat, just apologize for being an ignorant asshole already, okay?" Rose interrupts.

Before you get a chance to say anything, Kanaya speaks again, "Do you not miss her at all?"

No. You want to say no. In fact, you want to climb onto your roof and scream it. But you don't. Instead you think. Really, fucking think about it for the first time in a week. You don't miss Terezi. But a small part is aching to feel that burning you got when arguing with her. You don't miss her, but it was decent to be able to have someone who you could constantly yell at. A person who made you cringe, and rage, and make your blood boil.

"Karkat?"

"Shut up."

Ever since you stopped speaking to her, that feeling left. She was like a fire, and now that she was put out, all that was left were the ashes. You loathe her. Despise her. And, against your better judgement, you enjoy it. Enjoy that you can hate her so much, with so little consequence.

But fuck if you were going to tell these two that.

"... Fine. I'll apologize."

"Good." Rose stood up. "I'm afraid now that our mission is over, I have to go. Are you coming, Kanaya?"

"I think I might stay for a bit." Her eyes flash to you, looking for permission.

"Fine. But we're watching The Five Year Engagement."

"I can deal with that."

After getting bundled up in her mountain of wool, you and Kanaya show Rose out. The moment the door is close, you turn to her. Suddenly your voice is all authority.

"You know the movie rules. No talking while said movie playing, no interrupting for the bathroom, and no pausing to get food."


	5. Chapter 5

_I don't know what I'm supposed to say here_

Ugh, no.

_T,_

No no no.

_Dear Terezi,_

"God dammit." You rip out yet another page from your notebook, crumbling it into a ball before throwing it at the wall. Why was this so hard?

Last night, both you and Kanaya had ended up falling asleep on the couch in the middle of the movie. You woke up laying down with your head on her lap, her hand resting comfortingly on your shoulder. That same hand was now rubbing small circles, trying to wake you up. Groggily, your eyes open and see the glare of the menu screen on the television. Immediately your eyes close again.

"Karkat?"

You simply groan in response.

"Karkat, your father just pulled into the driveway, and I would really rather not try to explain that you practically laying on top of me is completely platonic." That gets you moving. Rubbing your eyes, you sit up. Almost instantly you feel a set of fingers in your hair, trying to make some sort of attempt to flatten out the mess it has become. With a sly smile, she comments on how tired you must have been to fall asleep through one of your precious romantic comedies.

"Yeah, well, being stalked and bothered all day can take a lot out of a guy."

By the time your dad comes in from the garage, Kanaya is already with you in the doorway. She says a quick hello to him before turning to you.

"Don't forget about Terezi."

"How am I supposed to apologize when every time I see her, I want to gouge my eyes out?"

"Write her a note."

So that's what you've been doing. All day. This morning you had told your dad that you felt too sick to go to school, and luckily he has left you to the confinements of your room ever since. Only occasionally asking if you needed anything.

Overall, you have a fairly good relationship with your dad. He doesn't hover over you too much, and you always make sure to save him the annoyance of having to deal with your teenage angst. It's mostly quiet. When you were younger, you used to always bother him about getting some sort of pet, just to liven things up a bit. That, however, didn't go over very well. After three fish, and a failed attempt at raising a hamster, it had become an unspoken law that animals weren't to enter the household.

_Sorry for being such an intolerable asshole._

For what feels like the millionth time, you scratch out the inked words in front of you.

Finally, after many, many tries, you figure out what you're going to write to Terezi. It's short, quick, but to the point. You look at the clock. It's too late to go to school now, but if you show up early tomorrow, you'll most likely be able to shove it into her locker without anyone there to see. Very carefully, you take a blank sheet of paper from your desk and fold it in half to make a card. Putting her name on the front, you make sure to write very neatly on the inside. Because, fuck, if you were doing this, you were going to do it right.

When you finish writing, you promptly stick it in your backpack, and let out a long sigh. This was happening. You were going to do it.

* * *

You walk down the hallway, trying to look at casual as possible. Or at least, as casual as you can with all of the streamers and doily hearts hanging around. Looking in each direction, there isn't a person in sight. Okay, so maybe you shouldn't have made sure to arrive at quarter to eight. Fuck, what were you even going to do for the next hour until classes began? Shaking your head at your idiocy, you remove the card from your bag.

Maybe you should wait until Monday. If you give it to her today,  _Valentine's Day_ , she might get the wrong idea. What if she doesn't even show up? Fuck you're second guessing yourself, and you know it. Just get it over with.

Quickly, you all but shove the card into the crack of her locker. It slides in easily, and just like that, your job here is done.

Walking down the hallway to your own locker, you aren't very sure on what to do now. Clearly you didn't think this through very well. After walking around for awhile, you just sit at your locker with your iPod until it seems like a respectable time to get your books and go to class.

* * *

Terezi Pyrope stands at her locker with her not-so-new friend, Vriska Serket.

"What's this?" Terezi can hear the grin in her voice, as Vriska bends down to pick up a folded piece of paper that had fallen to the ground. "It has your name on it."

"Oh, let me see it!"

"You  _can't_  see it."

"Ha ha. More blind jokes. How original." She brushes the comments away before taking hold of the note. Regardless of how Vriska will react, she holds it up to her nose for a deep sniff. "It's from Karkat." There's a hint of distaste in her tone.

"Do you want me to read it for you?" Vriska manages to extend both the words 'read' and 'you', like she normally does while speaking. Somehow it made her seem even more mischievous. Needless to say, it was something Terezi is still getting used to.

"Oh, I don't care. If it's from Mister Crabby Pants, there probably isn't anything very important in it." She hands her the note carelessly.

_Dear Terezi,_

_Happy Valentine's Day (Or something)_

_Sorry for being such a shit head._   
_\- Karkat_

_P.S. Fuck you._

Ignoring her comment, Vriska flips her hand behind her shoulder, straightens her posture, and begins reading aloud. When she's finished, Terezi seems to be doing her best not to look shocked. So the famous Karkat actually tried to apologize. It seemed outrageously out of character. Especially after all of the time he had spent declaring his undying hatred for her.

"Well," She finally said coolly, "It seems that we have a shocking development." Before Vriska can look at the note any more, she quickly snatches it back, pushing it into one of her books. "It looks like this new piece of evidence will have to be analyzed critically before it's of any use to anyone."

"Evidence of what?"

"That Karkat Vantas may actually have a heart in that little, raging body of his." Finally, she lets a grin take over her face, and for the first time in awhile she feels actual excitement.

* * *

By the time it's lunch, you have gone from relieved to impatient to full on freaking out. God you never should of sent it. Why the hell did you even listen to Rose and Kanaya in the first place? All they wanted was to stir up more drama that, in the end, they would be able to put a stop to in minutes. It was their own form of sick, twisted entertainment. And there you are, letting them to budge themselves into your personal life. You might as well go climb a mountain, and declare yourself the fucking King of Foolish Fucks. If the apocalypse were to ever occur, you could almost guarantee that you would be the idiot who brought it on.

In the cafeteria, Terezi seems to be unnaturally quiet. In fact, not once do you hear her voice echoing off of the walls. When you look over, she's already watching you. Assessing you. Shit. Yes, there isn't a doubt in your mind that she got the card. Beside her, Nepeta and Jade Harley are having a noticeably enthusiastic discussion.

For once Eridan is sitting next to you, with Kanaya across the table. He's completely flopped onto the table, arms covering his face as he groans on and on about Sollux and Feferi. Both of whom, luckily, decided to go out to lunch to celebrate the holiday.

"Look, man." You finally turn your attention back to him, "I know you're upset and shit, but you need to get over her. She's moved on, and so should you. It's been months."

Your words only lead to more dramatic cries coming from his end of the conversation. You sigh and squeeze the bridge of your nose with you thumb and forefinger. You're about to say something else, when you hear the clatter of two chairs falling over. Looking up, Kanaya seems to be standing up, tugging Eridan with her. She pulls him close by the collar of his shirt and all you can do is gape at them both.

"Eridan," Her voice is scarily calm compared to the spark in her dark green eyes. "I understand that you're hurting right now, and I can fully empathize. However, you need to.  _Snap. Out. Of it_."

"Empathize? You have no idea what I'm goin' through!" His eyes begin to water. With disgust, she narrows her own eyes at him and mumbles something that only he can hear before letting go. Silently she pushes her chair in, grabs the rest of her lunch, and leaves the two of you awestruck.

"Well, that was interesting."

"Kar, I'm goin' to die alone 'n nobody even cares." He throws his arms around your shoulders and instantly you freeze.

"Okay, no. I'm here for you, and all that, but this is going too fucking far." Carefully, you peel the arms of the sobbing boy off you. You manage to squirm out of his grasp. "You need to learn how to deal with this on your own." You stand up, completely ignoring the rest of your food as you grab your bag.

You hear a small sniffle. "How?"

"Are you really that fucking incompetent? It's Valentine's Day. Think of something." You walk away from him, ignoring any and all pleas that are sent your way.

By the time it's English, you're more than ready for the day to be over. It's obvious that Terezi isn't going to forgive you, and you're fairly certain that all of the red candy you have been exposed to today is going to give you diabetes. Collapsing at your desk, it's clear that you're the first to arrive. You give the hood of your sweater a good tug and pull it over your head.

Maybe you fell asleep. Hell, you could have been knocked unconscious for all you know, but sooner than usual students are filling in. Nepeta walks up to you, but doesn't sit down right away. She stands there slightly awkwardly but eventually realizes that you're not going to say something first.

"Hi Karkat!"

"Hi."

"Happy Valentine's Day." A smile spreads across her face.

"Thanks. You too, I guess." You look up at her expectantly when she doesn't move. "Was there something you wanted to say?"

"This is for you." She practically thrusts the piece of construction paper into your hand before scurrying to sit. Fucking _scurrying_. What was she? A woodland creature?The paper is a square shape, clearly folded into quarters. A small cloud of red dust rises when you try to unfold it.

"Fuck." You croak through your coughing. What was she trying to do, kill you?

Once it's laid out on the desk before you, you finally get a chance to read the words that have been written with chalk.

_Roses are read_

_Violets are blue_

_Karkles is an asshole_

_Fuck you, too._

There's a chalk drawing beside the poem as well. A rose and a violet - both in their respected colours. However, sloppily drawn onto the flowers are angry cartoon faces. Regardless of the smudges, you're surprisingly impressed at how well she can draw. For a blind girl, at least. She must be willing to forgive you at least somewhat. After all, you wouldn't be holding this if she wasn't. On top of that, she used 'Karkles' rather than 'Karkat'. That has to say something. Your finger brushes over the last line, and you look up. Terezi is walking over to her desk, completely ignoring you. Quickly, you shove the paper into your jean pocket, and try to rub the chalk off of your fingers. Whatever weight that had been on your shoulders has now been miraculously lifted.

Nepeta seems to notice this, because she asks, "Did you have a good Valentine's Day?"

"Better than I was expecting."


	6. Chapter 6

When school is over, you're left standing at your locker, retrieving your stuff to get home. All of this Valentine's Day shit was finally over, and you can't wait for the weekend. Your plans? A whole lot of nothing. At least, that was what your plans  _were._

When you hear the clattering of a certain person's white cane scraping the ground, you freeze.

"Hello, Karkles." Although Terezi's voice carried an air of optimism, her face was completely serious.

"Terezi."

Silence. Dead silence. Not even the comfortable kind. It was the kind that made you want to end up running in the other direction, and fuck her for being able to get that kind of reaction out of you.

"Look, are you still-"

Her sentence cuts into yours, "- My house. Tomorrow."

"Why the hell do you think I'm going to voluntarily go to your house?"

"Because I know that you're failing Chemistry. I also know that you have a test next week-"

"Wait, what? How the hell did you find that out? Have you been stalking me or something? Everyday after school do you have secret meetings with Rose and Kanaya to just make my life that much more difficult?"  _You_  didn't even know that there was a test.

"No... Although that is a good idea." You glare at her as hard as you can. Hoping to somehow glare right through her stupid sunglasses and into her soul. Maybe then she'll understand that you're fucking tired of people bothering you. All she does is smile back.

"Look, I don't need your help. Ever since I agreed to show you around, my ass has been on the other side of the finish line."

"That's a very good point. But if you don't pass that test next week, Ms. Crocker isn't going to be very happy." Damn. Unhappy teachers would be an unhappy father.

"And how do I know that you're even good at Chemistry?"

"Because unlike some people, I actually pay attention."

Even though she wasn't in your class, you knew Terezi was telling the truth. Your Chemistry teacher loved to make ridiculous references during experiments. Mostly it was to baking, and recipes, but sometimes to other things like those garbage crime shows. Terezi loved to eat that shit up.

"... Fine, you can help me." Instantly a piece of paper is in your hand, with an address messily scrawled on.

"You can come over at six. My aunt won't be around to bother us, then."

"Jesus christ, I speak English, not chicken scratch." You mutter. You hold up the piece of paper to your face, trying to decode the letters. When you look away though, she isn't there anymore. You shove the paper in your pocket along with the one from earlier.

Wait, her aunt? Terezi lived with her aunt? Didn't she have any parents? Kanaya's words from the other day ring in your mind. So Terezi did have a life outside of torturing you. You'd just been too blind with rage to ask.

It was a good thing that she had left, because you're fairly certain if you had said that last part in front of her, you would have gotten another hit with the cane.

* * *

**\- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 18:13 -**

**GC:**  ITS K4N4Y4 R1GHT  
 **GA:**  Hello  
 **GA:**  May I Ask Who This Is  
 **GC:**  1TS T3R3Z1  
 **GC:**  1 N33D YOUR 4SS1ST4NC3  
 **GA:**  On What Exactly  
 **GC:**  K4RK4T 4ND 1 4R3 T4LK1NG 4G41N  
 **GA:**  Yes I Am Well Aware Of This  
 **GC:**  TH3 COLD PL4T3 OF JUST1C3 MUST B3 S3RV3D K4N4Y4  
 **GC:**  1 N33D YOU TO T3LL M3 1F 1 4NNOY H1M  
 **GC:**  1F MY M3R3 PR3S3NC3 PUTS H1S STR4WB3RRY FL4VOUR3D T33TH ON 3DG3 >:]  
 **GA:**  From What He Tells Me  
 **GA:**  Very Much So  
 **GC:**  P3RF3CT  
 **GA:**  May I Ask What Exactly Youre Planning On Doing To Him  
 **GA:**  He Is My Friend After All  
 **GC:**  DONT WORRY  
 **GC:**  YOULL ST1LL H4V3 YOUR PR3C1OUS K4RK4T  
 **GC:**  BUT F1RST  
 **GC:** 1 N33D YOUR H3LP >:]

**\- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] at 18:27 -**

* * *

The next morning you wake up late. Later than usual, if you're honest. Three in the afternoon. The first thing you do is open your eyes to stare at the ceiling. The second? Groan. You groan a groan that is so fucking pathetic, it's worthy of getting you cast on  _The Walking Dead_. After tossing and turning all night, you had finally found some solace around five or six. Now, your body was punishing you for that.

You roll out of bed - literally rolling - until you hit the floor. The impact of the black rug against your ribcage knocks the air out of your lungs, but you manage to stand up anyway. Three hours until you have to go to Terezi's. It feels like both too much and not enough time. On the one hand, you wanted to just go and get it over with. But at the same time, you'd be on her territory. Vulnerable to your new surroundings. Fan fucking tastic.

Staying in your pajamas, because fuck if you're getting dressed right away, you half stumble into the kitchen and sit at the table. Your dad sits across from you, quietly eating a sandwich while reading the newspaper. He sets it down to look at you.

"Tough night?"

"Hmmpth" You grumble a number of illiterate sounds before getting up to get yourself cereal. Sitting back down, you take a bite. Fuck. What is this shit? You look down to see frosted flakes of cereal soggy from the brown liquid that they were poured in.

"Right, I forgot to tell you. I picked up some chocolate milk."

"Dammit." Normally, you try to hold back your colourful language around your dad, but this was definitely an exception. "Screw it." You take another bite, cringe, and swallow. Then, you repeat the process. Slowly chewing the mess gave you something to think about.

When you finally finish you push the bowl away. "I'm going to a friend's place later."

"Kanaya?"

"No... Someone new." Your words are chosen carefully.

"Oh, what's her name?"

"Terezi. Also known as the most annoying shitstain on the planet." He lets out a little smile at that. "What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing. Is this the girl you were asked to assist?"

"Yeah. She needs some help with biology." Now probably wasn't the best time to bring up your own Chemistry marks. You put your bowl in the sink, and leave the room as he returns to whatever he was reading.

An hour later, you are showered and standing in your bedroom wearing nothing but your boxers. Your dresser drawers are half open, clothes are all over the floor, and your closet looks like someone had tried to rob it but didn't find anything they deemed worthy. Dirty clothes were no longer distinguishable from the clean ones. Needless to say, it's a war zone. An utter, complete mess. Not only that, but you're a mess, too. Your damp hair is stuck up in all different directions and you can not for the love of god find something to wear.

Walking to the bed, you grab a dark green t-shirt and pull it over your head. Fuck. Against your pale skin all it accomplishes is making you look like you're going to vomit. Or maybe you just look like that already. Regardless, you throw it off.

Why were you even worried about this, anyway? You never gave a fuck about your appearance before now. Eridan always made sure to pick up your slack in that department. It doesn't matter. You aren't trying to impress anyone. Your paranoia is getting out of control, that's all. But still, you're practically paralyzed with nerves.

You were going to Terezi's, and you were going to get help on biology. That was it. Hell, she'd probably get so annoying that you'd end up leaving in a fit of rage.

Okay, that seems to help calm you down a bit. Deep breath, in and out.

By the time you finally calm yourself down, the digital clock tells you that it's after five. Beside the clock, is your phone and an old package of gum. Reaching for it, you shove three pieces in your mouth. Then, you chew the fuck out of that gum. No, you aren't going to be nervous. You are going to chew this gum like your life depends on it, you are going to find some clothes that don't make you look like an idiot, and you are going to go to Terezi's. Why? Because you are Karkat fucking Vantas and you do what you want.

Finally, you pick up a grey, long sleeved shirt that had been half kicked under your dresser. Not sure if it's clean or dirty, you pull it up to your face and inhale. It  _smells_ clean. Just in case, you leave and return with a can of Febreze. You squirt it a couple of times before throwing the shirt on with a pair of black jeans. Good enough. You grab the piece of paper with her address, and throw your backpack over your shoulder.

It takes almost half an hour before you actually are able to find her house. It's average. Not too big, but at the same time not freakishly small. But it is hard to ignore that there are a number of trees surrounding the property as you pull into the driveway and turn off the car.

Before you even have time to knock, the door is open and Terezi is pulling you inside.

"Jesus, woman. Some of us want to keep our limbs attached to our bodies."

"Whine whine whine, that's all you ever do." She lets out a dramatic sag of her shoulders. You noticed that she doesn't have her cane with her. "Come on. I have everything set up in my room."

You follow her upstairs and just as she said, everything is set up. A chemistry book and binder are on the bed, along with what could only be the contents of her pencil case in a messy pile.

After over an hour, you end up learning more than you expected. Finally, though, enough is enough.

"Fuck, I need a break." You close your textbook and toss it onto your backpack across the room. Terezi nods, and does the same with her own things. The two of you are now sitting beside each other on the edge of the bed quietly. Shit. This was exactly what you didn't want to happen.

"So why are we at your aunt's, instead of your parent's place?"

"My parents still live back in Washington. We didn't want to move, so my aunt said that I could stay with her. I like it more here, anyway."

"Why?" Your voice is probably calmer than she's ever heard it.

"My aunt is more understanding. She used to have a seeing disability so sometimes she'll show me how to use it to my advantage."

"How the fuck can you  _stop_  being blind?"

Terezi lets out a small sigh. This is the longest that you've seen her actually be serious about something. It isn't necessarily bad or good - just different. "I never said that she was blind, you idiot. Don't you listen? My aunt had a  _seeing disability_. Keratoglobus. She was able to get a corneal transplant. Even though she  _wasn't_  blind, it's the closest I can have to someone who _gets it_."

You simply nod your head, and suddenly she jumps up. "I almost forgot! I have something for you."

"Is it a kick to the head? Because I could really use one right now." She cackles at you, leaving the room and returning with her hands behind her back. "You know," you continue grumbling when she returns, "you laugh because you think I'm kidding. But I'm not."

"Just shut up and let me do something nice for you for once." When you don't say anything, she continues, "I got some help, and..." She trails off, shoving a book into your hands. It was another trashy romance novel. Not the one that you were currently borrowing, but another. Terezi takes back her place on the bed beside you, grinning proudly. "Kanaya promised that it would be just as awful as everything else you read."

"Fuck you." The book is placed to be resting on your knees, and you look over at her. "... But.. thanks. I guess."

There's another pause, and you can't help but notice that she seems to be fidgeting at bit.

The next thing you know, a slim hand has been wrapped around your neck, pulling you close. You freeze. You can't do anything but focus on how the dip in her bed causes the two of you to lean together even more. How your foreheads are now pressed together, too. She slowly pulls her sunglasses off to reveal light brown eyes that you swear have a reddish tint. You've never seen anything like them before. Entranced, everything seems like it's going in slow motion. An out-of-body experience. She sets the sunglasses behind her with her free hand. Your own hand moves to cover the one that is still firmly planted at the back of your neck.

"What are you doing?" You can hardly hear your own voice, so whether or not she does, you don't know.

You aren't sure who leans in first, either. But suddenly her lips are on yours. Kissing you. You close your eyes, and immediately your body seems to act on instinct. Return it. Kiss her back. Wait,  _no_. You try to ignore the voice in your head. However, her fingers begin scratching the back of your neck lightly. Oh god. It's screaming at you now. Kiss her kiss her kiss her. Helpless, you give in. Hands flying to her waist, you pull Terezi closer and kiss her back. It's probably rougher than necessary, but she doesn't seem to mind. The book falls to the floor, causing a muted thump by the time it hits the carpet.

Terezi breaks away and runs her nose along your jaw. It's when you hear her inhaling that your toes curl. Breathing you in. No, you shouldn't be reacting like this. Much less enjoying it. It was _Terezi_. Terezi, the blind girl with the obnoxious laugh. The one who could make you roll your eyes without even speaking. The one who is very much currently whispering in your ear. You can barely hear it over the pounding coming from your chest.

"Did you put perfume on just for me, Karkles?"

Suddenly everything snaps back into focus. You push her away and stand up. Shaking. You're shaking. Shaking, and fumbling, and stuttering.

"What the  _fuck_  do you think you're doing?" You manage to yell.

Without waiting for a response, you grab your books, shove them in your bag, and mumble an excuse to leave. You're running out the door so quickly that you nearly trip over the steps that lead to the driveway.

The car door slams shut behind you, and you jump at the noise. Oh god oh god oh god oh god. No. This wasn't happening. You were dreaming. That was it. You were dreaming and there definitely was _not_  a growing problem in your jeans.

Still shaking, it takes three tries before the key fits into the ignition properly. If you had the mind to look up, you would have seen Terezi standing in her bedroom window watching you. One arm wrapped around herself, and the other holding onto your long forgotten gift.


	7. Chapter 7

By the time you're back at your house, you've calmed down a bit. Your breathing is finally steady again, and your heart isn't about to run a marathon.

The door opens to an unusually quiet house. So your dad left. Good. You're not sure that you want him to see you like this anyway. Not even bothering to kick off your shoes you run to the bathroom, and fuck, it looks like you've seen a ghost. Wide eyes and an unhealthily pale face. Your mind races over what had just happened. What she did. What you did. God, why did you kiss her back?

_Why did it take you so long to kiss her back._

Things went too far. Everything was being rushed.

_You shouldn't have pushed her away._

Maybe you were leading her on. Sure, you had given her that card yesterday, but it was meant as a friendly gesture. Completely platonic.

_She tasted like watermelons._

You turn on the tap, and practically shove your face under the faucet. Rinsing your mouth out for nearly five minutes doesn't do anything to get rid of the taste. Immediately you tug your shirt over your head and pull it up to your face. Jesus christ why did everything smell like watermelons? You weren't even kissing for very long. A shower. That's what you need. Something to help you think.

Stripping down as quickly as you can, you get into the shower. Steam rises off of the water and you have to muffle the small yelp at the shock of how hot it is. Then, you scrub. Anywhere and everywhere; making sure to focus on your hands and neck.

A bar of soap and bottle of shampoo later, your skin is tinted a light pink from the hot water. You don't want to get out yet - or more, you don't want to face the real world yet - so instead you simply stand under the spray. It's calming, as your brain tries to pick through all of your thoughts.

Okay, maybe kissing Terezi wasn't horrible. Okay, even. In fact, you can't entirely push away the thought of doing it aga-

 _No._  One thing at a time.

So apparently you didn't hate her cackling guts as much as you thought you did. Okay. When the two of you had been studying, she was even a bit helpful. Rather than pointing things out in the textbook (which would have been difficult in more ways than one), she explained it all verbally. There were a couple references to Law And Order, but most of it still made sense. And fuck, she's smarter than you had assumed... Maybe you could even be able to be friends with her. Not just that shitty excuse of friendship that was going on before. At lunch, you often saw her talking to Nepeta, so she couldn't be _too_  awful. Maybe Kanaya was right, and to see the real Terezi you would just have to dig deeper.

Far,  _far_  deeper.

Eventually you get out of the shower, and change into your pajamas, which are really just an old t-shirt and some flannel pants. You settle yourself on your bed and log into Pesterchum to see Terezi already signed in.

**\- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 22:04 -**

**CG:**  HEY.  
 **CG:**  TEREZI.  
 **CG:**  ARE YOU THERE?

_**\- gallowsCalibrator [GC] is now offline! -** _

**CG:**  FUCK.

**\- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 22:011 -**

Okay, so she was upset. Really upset if she wouldn't even talk to you. Fuck how were you going to do this when she ignored you?

Slowly, you being to scroll through the list of online friends. Not sure if you can face Kanaya at the moment (or if you had already unblocked her or not), you double click on Sollux's handle.

**\- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA] at 22:19 -**

**CG:**  BRO I THINK I SCREWED UP.  
 **TA:**  hell yeah you diid.  
 **CG:**  WHAT.  
 **TA:**  ii wa2 ju2t talkiing two TZ.  
 **TA:**  2he'2 really pii22ed.  
 **CG:**  SO I GUESS YOU KNOW NOW THAT IM AN INSUFFERABLE ASSHOLE WHO SHOULD NEVER EXPOSE HIMSELF TO THE GREATER PORTION OF HUMANITY.  
 **TA:**  KK ii alway2 knew that.  
 **CG:**  OH FUCK YOU.  
 **CG:**  I DIDNT TAKE THE FUCKING TIME TO LOG ONTO PESTERCHUM JUST SO YOU COULD HIT ME OVER THE HEAD WITH YOUR INSULTS OF CHOICE.  
 **CG:**  THIS ISNT A GAME OF LETS SEE HOW SHITTY WE CAN MAKE KARKAT FEEL ABOUT HIMSELF.  
 **CG:**  IF IT WERE I WOULD HAVE WON THAT A LONG TIME AGO.  
 **TA:**  ii2 there a poiint two thii2 conver2atiion or are you ju2t goiing two keep rantiing?  
 **CG:**  I NEED YOU TO HELP ME FIX THIS.  
 **TA:**  how?  
 **CG:**  FUCKING HELL I DON'T KNOW. HOW DID YOU GET FEFERI TO LIKE YOU?  
 **TA:**  well for one, ii wasn't a douche bag two her.  
 **CG:**  SO HELPFUL. SO SPECIFIC. THANK YOU FOR YOUR WISDOM SOLLUX. ILL MAKE SURE TO BRING EVERY PROBLEM I AM EVER APPROACHED WITH TO YOU FOR YOUR EXCELLENT PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS IN THE FUTURE.  
 **TA:**  ju2t apologiize.  
 **CG:**  SHE WONT TALK TO ME.  
 **TA:**  ii don't really blame her.  
 **CG:**  OKAY HELPFUL IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOURE BEING.  
 **TA:**  iif 2he won't 2peak two you, do iit iin per2on.  
 **CG:**  THATS IT?  
 **TA:**  ii gue22.  
 **CG:**  AND SHELL FORGIVE ME?  
 **TA:**  hopefully.  
 **TA:**  let her cool off a biit fiirst, though.  
 **CG:**  FUCK. FINE. OKAY. ILL WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW.  
 **CG:**  THANK YOU. AND I MEAN GENUINELY MEAN IT THIS TIME.

**\- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering twinArmageddons [TA] at 22:36 -**

* * *

**\- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 09:24 -**

**CG:** I KNOW YOURE ANGRY.  
 **CG:** BUT ALL I NEED IS A YES OR NO ANSWER.  
 **CG:** ARE YOU FREE TODAY?  
 **CG:**...  
 **CG:** LOOK IM NOT AN IDIOT I CAN SEE THAT YOURE ONLINE.  
 **CG:**  SO YOURE JUST GOING TO LEAVE ME HERE TO ENTERTAIN MYSELF?  
 **CG:** FUCK.  
 **CG:** JESUS CHRIST ALL I WANT TO DO IS APOLOGIZE.  
 **CG:** CAN I COME OVER AND DO THAT AT LEAST?  
 **CG:** IF YOU DONT ANSWER ME ILL JUST COME OVER ANYWAY.  
 **GC:** NO >:[  
 **CG:** NO I CANT APOLOGIZE OR NO I CANT SEE YOU IN PERSON?

_**\- gallowsCalibrator [GC] is now offline! -** _

**- **carcinoGeneticist [CG]**  ceased pestering  **gallowsCalibrator [GC]**  at 09:44 -**

You try not to slam your laptop shut, but fail horribly. Fuck, it looks like you'll have to use your back up plan, which is to approach her at school. In the mean time, you grab your chemistry book and begin to study for what will end up being the rest of the day.

* * *

The entirety of Monday is spent raining. Fucking pouring, really. It's the reason behind you getting distracted on your chemistry test, as well as why the cafeteria is unusually full. Each time you look up from the table, Sollux is there, staring at you behind his cheap 3-D glasses. From beside you, it's obvious that Kanaya keeps looking back and forth between the two of you. However, she has been kind enough to not mention the strange behavior.

"Is she there?" Your voice is kept low. His eyes snap to just behind your head to Dave's table.

"Yeth."

"Fuck."

"Come on, jutht thuck it up already."

You wince, "Your lisp is especially bad today. Something wrong?" You know that it usually worsened whenever he was stressed.

"Nothing important. Now thtop changing the thubject. _Subject_."

That was when Kanaya finally decided to intervene. "Something going on?"

"KK ith going to go profeth hith love for Tereth-  _Terezi_. Dammit."

"Shut up."

"Oh, no profanitieth today?"

"They can't all be winners." Sollux simply shrugs in return.

"If you go over, it should probably be soon. It looks like she's leaving." You whip your head around and Kanaya's right. Terezi is standing up at her table, straightening her dragon baseball hat, and walking towards the doors to leave. Without thinking you stand up, chug down the rest of your juice, and grab your bag.

By the time you're at the doors, she's already in the hallway, and you have to run to catch up.

"Terezi." She doesn't answer, but continues to walk.

"Look, Terezi, we need to talk." Her face is perfectly clear of emotion. "Okay, you don't have to talk. But I need you to listen. Are you going to listen?"

Rather than speaking, she stops and turns to you. The face of the dragon on her red hat is watching you, and you have to avert your gaze.

"Okay. Good. I wanted... to apologize. For being such a fucking dick. I freaked out the other night. I'm an idiot. And I'm sorry." You run a hand through your hair, waiting.

She gives you an amused smirk. "Okay."

"Okay? Okay, what? Do you forgive me or not?"

"... Not yet. Try harder." She straightens her hat once again, and walks the rest of the way down the hall. Raising your hands in surrender, you call out,

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"Get creative."

The next thing you know, she's out of sight. Get creative. This better be fucking worth it.

By the time English rolls around, you're walking to class as if you are on a mission. Which, when you think about it, you sort of are. One of the most dangerous and fucking lethal missions ever. To get Terezi to forgive you. It took wit, cunning, and more help from Kanaya and Sollux than you care to admit. But yes, you do have a plan. The most fucking creative plan of them all.

By the time you enter the classroom, Terezi is already there, and you calmly go to your seat. For once, Nepeta doesn't say hello right away and you're thankful. She does offer a smile, though. When the class is full, and the teacher opens her mouth to speak, you raise your hand. She gives you a small look of surprise,

"Yes, Karkat?"

"I have an announcement to make. It can't really wait."

"By all means." She motions for you to go on, and you swear everyone looks to you at the exact same time. Shit. Okay, you were going to fucking do this.

You get up, and move to stand on your chair. It wobbles a bit at first, but you make sure to regain balance. You do your best to convey sincerity in your voice. Here goes fucking everything.

"I, Karkat Vantas, would like to formally apologize to Terezi Pyrope. For being a dick, an asshole, and an all around douche bag. For being indecisive, and confusing. All I wish is for some forgiveness, and if that can be accomplished, then thankfully this will not have been for nothing." Taking a moment to pause, you look to Terezi. Her mouth is practically hanging open in surprise.

"That is all." You immediately sit down, but everyone stays quiet. That is, until some wise ass makes a sarcastic comment about the two of you. It's loud enough for everyone to hear, and you promptly reply with a 'fuck off'.

"Okay, Karkat to the office please." Shrugging you stand up. This wasn't a surprise to you, especially since you had spoken with Kanaya over the possible punishments you'd receive.

"But it isn't his fault." Immediately you freeze, and look to your left.

"Terezi-" You begin to stop her from speaking out, to tell her to mind her own damn business, but she interrupts you.

"They should be the ones sent to the office. You heard what they said. What happened to fairness, and integrity?"

You just watch in awe as she stands up from her seat. Why is she getting so defensive? It isn't like you haven't gone to the office, or received detention before. It was _detention_ , not a death sentence.

The teacher sighs, "Unless you'd like to go with him, I'd suggest you sit down."

"No, I will not stand for this. Letting these thugs off the hook would be a crime in itself." Thugs? What the fuck was she going on about now?

"Karkat, please escort Terezi to the office with you."

You mock salute her, before grabbing Terezi's wrist. Only, she won't budge. Fuck, this girl was strong. You have to practically start dragging her across the room before there is any progress. Meanwhile, she's still yelling.

"I will not be silenced! Righteousness will prevail, and justice will be served!"

You slam the classroom door shut after her.

The two of you begin walking down the hall. You're about to ask what the hell that was all about, but she grabs your hand and pulls you around a corner. "This isn't the way to the -  _ow_." She gives you a hard shove, and the next thing you know, the two of you are in a janitor's closest. The sound of her cane clattering to the floor rings in your ears.

This was going to be so fucking cliche.


	8. Chapter 8

Terezi nearly knocks you over with the force of her hug. Instinctively you take a step back and knock over a rather large pile of cardboard boxes. Fuck. You force yourself to relax enough to hug her back.

Suddenly you realize just how dark it is in here. The only light is coming through the cracks in the door. It's just enough so that you can see her face.

"Okay, what exactly are we doing?"

"We're hugging."

"Well, I can fucking see that." She pulls away enough so that you're now face to face. "Does this mean you forgive past me?"

"Nope."

"Wait, what?" If she didn't forgive you, then why were you currently in a janitor's closet with her arms wrapped around your neck?

"I forgive Karkles. Not the stupid past and future Karkat you're always rambling about."

"Jesus christ." You groan, "Are you ever going to stop with that nickname?"

"Nope." There's a grin behind her words, and the two of you just stand like that for a moment. She still smells like watermelon today, but now it doesn't seem quite as awful. Was this what friends normally did? Usually you like to keep physical touching to a minimum, aside from Kanaya. However, even she doesn't hold you for this long. Whatever, Terezi forgave you. That was the important thing. As of right now, whatever signs of friendship she offered you would force yourself to take. After a few more minutes, you finally spoke up.

"So ... Are you going to let go any time soon?"

"Probably not." You let out an overdramatic sigh, and she hits the back of your head. Okay, this friendship thing was going to take some getting used to.

Eventually you give in and rest your forehead on her shoulder, grumbling about how long she's made you stand there for. How long has it been? Surely at least twenty minutes. Or at least it feels like that. You have to shift your weight a bit from side to side; trying to get into a more comfortable position. For anyone else, it probably would have looked like you were trying to fucking waltz with her or something. Suddenly pain begins to flare down to your foot thanks to the movement. There's a tightness in the back of your knee and shit your leg is cramping up.

"Okay, fuck this shit." You pull away, and reach over to flick on the light switch. Now that you're able to actually see, you turn to push some of the fallen boxes from earlier out of your way.

"What are you doing?"

"If we're going to stay in here, I'm not standing around the whole fucking time." By the time you've sat and stretched your legs out, Terezi is in front of you. Her own legs are crossed, and she sets your feet in her lap. "So why are we even in here?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. It's better than being in class though, isn't it?" You can just barely feel her fingers beginning to trace the fabric patterns on your shoes, almost as if she's doing it absentmindedly.

"... Yeah. So thanks for forgiving me, I guess." Not quite sure where else to look, you watch her.

"You're welcome. I wasn't expecting you to stand up, though."

Wait, so she didn't... Fuck, of course she didn't see you. You're such a fucking idiot sometimes. It's a wonder that you can complete simple daily tasks.

"I wasn't just standing up, you know."

"Oh, I know. Vriska told me exactly how you presented your delicious words of sorrow." She's grinning to herself now, while fumbling with your shoelaces.

"What the ever loving fuck are you doing?" Your voice is clearly irritated, but it doesn't have the edge that it normally does. You try to get a better look. To do this, though, you end up having to shuffle closer. "Did you tie my shoelaces togeth-"

You're looking down, so you feel the fingers grabbing your collar before seeing them. Holy shit. You're faces are, what? Maybe two inches apart? All you can see is that smile grinning back at you.

"Karkles?"

You gulp, and pray that she couldn't hear it. It's like you're in her bedroom all over again. Completely freezing up. You're pretty sure that if someone asked you what colour the sky was, you'd end up saying yellow. "Terezi." Without looking away, one of your hands moves to rest on her knee.

Trying to get a better sense of balance, obviously.

She opens her mouth to say something else, but before the words be spoken, there's a knock on the door. If loud impatient banging could count as a knock, that is.

"KK, I know your in there. Time to come out."

"Fucking hell, Sollux. Go away!" You turn to shout at the door, Terezi's death grip still on your shirt. There's another bang, and you lean over to hit your side of the door in response. You can just barely hear the sigh of exasperation, followed by feet shuffling away. Turning back to Terezi, she lets go of you, and begins flattening out your shirt.

"I have to go get my bag." Sighing, you stand up with her. And, apparently you aren't thinking properly, because as if it had a mind of its own your hand reaches over and takes her. You flick off the light, and look to make sure that the hall is clear before leaving. Terezi is able to shut the door behind her with a small click.

As soon as you look down at your hands, you make sure to let go and shove them in your pockets. Just act normally, and maybe she won't talk about what happened.

"Well, I should go meet Vriska, and get my bag. I'll see you later... Karkles." She adds the name teasingly, just fucking  _daring_  you to explode at her.

"Fuck off... See you tomorrow." You're about to turn away when she nearly tackles you in another hug. Damn, she was in a good mood. Better than usual, at least. Your arms stay limp at your sides while you wait for her to pull away, before she goes walking down the hall.

* * *

By the time you get to your own locker, you see Sollux leaning against it, waiting for you.

"I guess TZ forgave you." He smirks at you, and it's hard not to notice that his lisp is significantly better than it had been. Someone must be feeling better.

What was with everyone being so fucking happy today?

"Congratulations, you guess right." Your locker door creaks when you open it. You try not to cringe. "What of it?"

"After you ran off on Saturday, she invited me to go with her to some convention in a couple of weeks."

"And you're telling me this because?" A book hits the back of your locker with more force than you wanted. Trying to ignore the dent it made, you turn to him.

"I can't go. FF and I have plans, so I need you to help her instead."

"Why can't Vriska? She's probably going, too."

He raises an eyebrow at you from behind his glasses, "You really think that AG will stay with her the entire time? Even if she does, she could just end up dragging her everywhere. It'th- _It's_  easier if you just go with them. Then they can do whatever."

Fuck, he was right. At the same time, why the fuck would you want to go to a convention?

"What's in it for me?"

"You'll... get to spend more time with her." The tone behind his voice says that you'd like to do more than just, 'spend more time with her'.

"Okay, first of all, fuck you. We're fucking friends, and nothing else. Although it will be a mother fucking miracle just to achieve that. And second, fine. I'll go. Because I'm such a good fucking friend and work my ass off for your every need. If you were a king, I'd be your first and very best fucking slave. Every time you went to the dungeon, you'd ignore all of the other lazy slaves. Why? Because I'm the most dependable and not to mention awesome. I'm your best bro.

"I'm the fucking Tinkerbell to your sorry ass. Fuck, if this was a Disney movie, I'd be the more attractive, male Cinderella. And you would be my step-brother, who was actually not all that horrible, except when being a total douche."

"Dude... You lost me at 'king'."

"Jesus fucking christ, I'm surrounded by idiots." You slam your locker shut in defeat, and re-adjust the strap of your bag on your shoulder. "Okay, now listen to me very carefully," You speak slowly, making sure to maintain eye contact with him, "I'll help you out, because you're my bro. But you owe me."

He says a quick thank you, and raises his fist for you to bump. Instead, you look at him with disgust, "What are you, auditioning to be on the Jersey Shore?" However, after a moment you give in. "I hope you're happy, because I'm never doing that again."

The two of you begin to walk down the hall, and you notice how you're almost literally in his shadow.

"So what's going on with you and TZ, anyway?"

"We're friends."

"And?" He looks down to you expectantly.

"And what? We're friends, and that's fucking it."

"Yeah," he lets out a small laugh, "and that's why the two of you spent nearly an hour in a dark closet together."

"Fuck you. It's not like we _did_  anything. We didn't, and we won't."

"Whatever you say." Why can't anyone mind their own damn business, anymore?

"So what why am I even doing this for you? Like, what the fuck is my job going to be?"

He shrugs, "Helping her around. Make sure people are athholeth to her."

"Athholeth?"

"Fuck off." You take a few steps to the side so that you can dodge his attempt to shove you.

"Sorry. It was too good to pass up."

* * *

**\- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 16:45 -**

**GC:**  SO 1 H34RD TH4T SOLLUX'S HON3Y 3SS3NC3 W1LL NOT B3 W1TH VR1SK4 4ND MYS3LF 4T TH3 CON

 **GC:**  BUT INST34D W3 W1LL H4V3 YOU

 **GC:**  C4R3 TO 3XPL41N YOURS3LF M1ST3R

 **CG:**  SOLLUX IS OFF FUCKING WITH FEFERI ON THAT DAY. IM HIS REPLACEMENT.

 **GC:**  ...

 **CG:**  JESUS CHRIST NOT LITERALLY. THANKS A LOT.

 **CG:**  WE ALL KNOW HOW MUCH I NEEDED THAT MENTAL IMAGE TO TORTURE MYSELF WITH LATE AT NIGHT.

 **GC:**  W3LL YOU N3V3R KNOW >:]

 **CG:**  NO. WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT SOLLUX AND FEFERI HAVING SEX. IM DONE WITH THIS TOPIC.

 **CG:**  MOVING ON.

 **GC:**  F1N3

 **GC:**  4LW4YS SO S3NS1T1V3

 **CG:**  FUCK YOU. NOT ALL OF US LIKE TO IMAGINE OUR FRIENDS SEX LIVES.

 **GC:**  WH4T3V3R YOU S4Y

 **CG:**  WAS THERE A POINT TO THIS HARASSMENT?

 **GC:**  4CTU4LLY Y3S

 **GC:**  1F YOUR3 H3LP1NG M3 1NST34D OF SOLLUX

 **GC:**  1 N33D YOU TO COM3 OV3R TOMORROW

 **CG:**  FINE.

 **CG:**  WHAT TIME AM I BEING BECKONED FOR THIS FORM OF TORTURE?

 **GC:**  4:00

 **GC:**  DONT B3 L4T3

 **GC:**  4ND BR1NG COFF33

 **CG:**  WHY?

 **GC:**  W3LL N33D 1T

**\- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 17:06 -**

_**\- gallowsCalibrator [GC] is now offline! -** _

* * *

After school, you're standing on Terezi's front porch, and thank god that there's a roof. It's been pouring all day, and you're almost certain that there are puddles in your shoes. That's what you get for being a cheap bastard, and not letting your dad buy you rain boots.

You ring the doorbell, and tap your foot impatiently. The sound that follows is a bit concerning. It's a mix of insane laughter, loud thumps, and small shrieks. If anything, it sounds like Terezi got a fucking puppy. But no, when the door is opened, you find something much worse waiting for you.

"Heeeeeeeey Karkat." Vriska grins, her dark blue eyes shining mischievously.

"Vriska. Why are you here?"

"Same reason as you. I'm here to help Terezi with her costume." Terezi approaches from behind her, and you let out a small huff of frustration.

"Are you going to let me in, or what?"

"Because you asked  _soooooooo_  nicely." She turns around, and you can see her practically fucking saunter up the staircase to the bedroom.

You step inside and shake your soaked hair, successfully spraying Terezi in the process.

"Rude." is all she says, her glasses glaring at you. "Did you bring the coffee?"

"No."

"Always so stubborn. Fine, if you want to be tired, it's your own fault." She turns, and you follow her up the stairs to her bedroom. Aside from the unexpected company, you can't help comparing it to the last time you were here.

Wait, no. This is different. Completely different. Terezi is a friend, and all more-than-friendly feelings have been squashed. You've moved past that, right?

_Right?_


	9. Chapter 9

The next two weeks are spent in a blur of school, homework, and spending time with Terezi. Of course, you didn't intend for that to happen. It just sort of... did. Nearly every other day you two would spend after school together. Sometimes you would work on getting ready for the con, others you'd play video games. It was usually the former, but you didn't mind too much; honestly, she kicked your ass at the latter. Which didn't make any sense, when you thought about it. It was getting a bit ridiculous for you, though. Two weeks had passed, and you still didn't know who or what the hell she was dressing up as. Every reference picture, outfit sketch (thoughtfully provided by Kanaya), and final product was hidden from you.

When you weren't with Terezi, school was where most of your thoughts were. March break would be coming up, and apparently the teachers had decided to get together and fuck you over. Every single possible piece of work was given to you. Projects were assigned within the first fifteen minutes of class. Meanwhile, tests were promised to be held after the break. It was fucking ridiculous.

That was why, with three days until March break, and nine until the convention, you finally snap.

"Okay, I'm done with this." You set a half molded piece of clay on the ground in front of you, and glare across the room at Terezi. Apparently, you need to sculpt a dragon head for her to be able to place on the top of her cane. It doesn't look too horrible, but this is your third try and fuck your fingers hurt more than anything.

She turns away from the pair of glasses she's been grinning away at for the past hour. "Something wrong, Karkles?" Oh, and there's that. She still calls you by the stupid name.

"I need to take a break. No, we need to take a break. We've been working on this costume for weeks, and it can't be fucking healthy. And why it isn't fucking finished already is beyond me."

"It isn't my fault that Kanaya is always so busy. She's the only one around here who can use the sewing machine."

"What about Vriska-"

"I'm not letting Vriska work on my costume." The words fly out of her mouth so quickly that it takes you a minute to put together what she said.

That was something else you didn't really understand. The entire time you've been working, Terezi was almost acting like it was a competition. Any moment when Vriska made any hint of altering her outfit, she would become overly defensive.

"Whatever. It doesn't matter because we're taking a break." You stand up, and walk over to her sitting on her chair. "We're getting out of this fucking dungeon and inserting some caffeine into our bodies. Because god knows that we need it."

She tries to protest, but you just grab her hands to pull her up. "I don't care about what shitty excuse is about to fall from your mouth. If we do not get coffee, I may literally die. My heart will stop beating, and you will have it on your own fucking conscious." You turn, still holding on to her hand, and pulling her through the house as if it were your own, while managing to still speak.

"Then, when my father is crying at my funeral, he will see you there, across the melodramatic cemetery. He'll beckon you over, like the fine fucking gentleman that he is, but you will have to decline. Why, you ask?"

"- I didn't ask- "

"Because deep, down inside you will know. You'll think of how I warned you of this moment. How the shit-stain that is my existence on the world was put to an end because you denied me of my shitty coffee." Grabbing both of your jackets off of the hook, you nearly throw Terezi's at her. This rant is going to be a good one, you can feel it in your fucking bones. "Late at night you'll be weeping yourself to sleep because why, oh why couldn't you listen to Karkat Vantas. You can tell future Terezi that it's because no one fucking listens to Karkat Vantas when they should. Then, no one will be around to help you with your fucking, piece of shit cosplays. Every day the chance to kick my ass at Mario Kart Wii will be lacking, causing your self esteem to lower. You'd go insane without me. So you're welcome, you ungrateful shit."

Your jackets are on now, and you've just been relentlessly ranting at her in the front doorway. The reason that you had initially gotten angry is long forgotten, but damn did it feel good to get that out. Trying to catch your breath, you wait for her to respond. Except she doesn't.

What she does do, is kiss you.

It's quick and sweet, but still manages to leave you speechless. Mumbling to yourself, you throw the front door open and begin to walk to your car.

The coffee shop is small, causing it to look fuller than it really is. Terezi sits across from you in a corner. It was silently agreed that you should stay away from the crowd when you let out a stream of profanities while standing behind an elderly couple in line. They didn't say anything, but their glares were enough.

The smell of coffee overwhelms everything else, and Terezi takes a sip of her hot chocolate before speaking. "So," she says, "do you know who you're cosplaying?"

"Sorry, what?"

"What are you wearing to the con."

"Clothes?"

"That's not what I mean, smart ass." A foot connects with your leg, leaving a dull pain.

"Jesus christ for someone who's blind, you sure do have a good sense of aim." Your hand moves to rub the throbbing just below your knee. "And no, there's no way in hell that I'm dressing up."

"But-"

"No."

"You're going to be the only idiot who isn't dressed up. You'll look so... hipster." She smiles, knowing that the name will get under your skin.

"Don't you dare play the hipster card. I'm not fucking dressing up, and you can't change my mind. End of discussion."

She simply shakes her head, and takes another sip. Taking the chance, you continue. "Why aren't you telling me whom you're dressing up as, anyway?"

"There's no point. It's not like you would know who they are."

"Look who's hipster now."

Her eyebrows furrow. "There's nothing wrong that."

"Yeah, if you're Strider. I'm telling you, he's a bad influence." At that, she lets out a genuine fucking laugh. It nearly makes you jump.

"Coming from the boy who can't go five minutes without swearing. Is someone getting jealous again?"

You aren't fucking jealous. Sure, it takes some effort not to send daggers at the blonde boy from across the cafeteria at lunch. And, maybe you want to yell with rage whenever she talks about how fucking hilarious he is. But that doesn't mean you're jealous.

It just means that you hate him. You loathe him, and she is too good for his presence.

"I'm not fucking jealous. And you're changing the subject. Just tell me what all of this work is for." You raise the cup to your lips, and the scorching liquid nearly burns your tongue.

"You know, I don't think I will. Not until you admit your undying jealousy."

"But I'm not jealous." Okay, this is getting frustrating.

"Then I guess it will take awhile to find out who my cosplay is for."

"You're so fucking stubborn." Once again, her foot collides with the same spot as earlier.

You swear to god that if you were able to see it, she'd be winking at you. A groan of frustration slips out and you chug back the rest of your drink. "Are you almost finished?"

She raises her an eyebrow, "Why are you in such a rush?"

"Because," you stand up, taking your coat off of the back of your chair, "when we get back to your house, you're showing me how you do that."

"Do what?"

"Manage to act like you have perfect fucking eyesight while being blind."

"Well in that case..." she stands, and grabs onto your arm as you lead her out the door.

By the time you are pulling into her driveway, Terezi has managed to push every fucking button of yours to the point that your hands are cramping from gripping the steering wheel so tightly. Just... fuck her. Fuck her for being able to get a rise out of you this easily; for having that awful laugh; for acting like every word you say to her is a joke. Fuck. Her.

And fuck you for having the temper to get so angry about it all.

"I'm half tempted to just leave right now." You say after a joke about your height. The car is parked, but neither of you are moving.

She undoes her seatbelt. "Come on, Karkles. It was only a joke. I thought you wanted to know all of my secret ways."

By the time you enter her room, Terezi wastes no time. She gets you to move the clay from earlier to her desk beside the sewing machine. Meanwhile, she closes the blinds to her two windows. It's noticeably darker, but a blindfold is still thrust into your hands.

"Put this on."

You do as your told, tying the itchy strip of fabric around your eyes until you can't see for shit.

"Now I'm going to spin you around, and you'll try walking."

"This is stupid." You deadpan.

"Shut up. We don't have time for your deliciously negative, coffee bean words."

 

There is an unmistakable squeak under your foot as you step on what could only be a stuffed dragon. It slips beneath you and suddenly you have a face full of floor. Maybe if you just stay here, she'll have mercy on you. This is the fifth time that you've tripped and your joints are starting to burn with pain. "Fuck. How do you do this every day?" A hand grabs onto your shirt, and pulls you back into a standing position roughly.

"It takes practice, obviously. Now try again." Terezi turns you around, giving you a less than gentle push forward. Stumbling, your sense of balance regains, but only barely. Your arms reach out, looking for something to take hold of. It takes a few minutes, but finally a comforter brushes your fingertips. You let out a sigh of relief. Okay. Good. A bit of the vertigo from earlier is starting to subside as well.

Quiet footsteps approach. If you could see, you probably wouldn't have heard them at all. Relying on your eyes instead.

"You have to focus on other things." It's obvious that she is just beaming at having the upper hand right now. "Instead of thinking about not being able to see, think about the rest. Like what you can hear, or smell, or feel."

"Or in your case, taste?" You suggest sarcastically.

"Yes! Just try it."

Tentatively, you raise your hands to place on her shoulders. Oh, she's closer than you had thought. You miss your target, but they manage to land on her upper arms. Close enough. You move slowly, trying to imagine her in front of you. Hear, smell, and feel.

Fuck her shirt is really soft. Softer than you would have though, at least. Shit, no, you're getting distracted. Very, very distracted. Moving on their own, your hands slide up to her neck. It's warm, compared to your own coolness. Your thumb moves up, until it finds her cheek. Maybe you're getting a bit better at this shit.

It's only now that you realize how quiet she is. Fuck why isn't she saying anything? Normally you can't get her to shut up and she chooses now of all times to go mute?

Maybe you should... But if you do there isn't any going back. You can't fucking run out on her like last time. Or... maybe you don't need to. You lean forward and hope to god that you don't make a fool of yourself.

And surprisingly, you don't. Your lips meet with hers, and it isn't too horrible. Better than horrible, if you care enough to be honest with yourself. She kisses back eagerly, lips not quite in synch with yours, but still. It's enough to send your head spinning. Your grip on her tightens, trying to ground yourself. Only, she takes it as a signal to keep going.

She pushes you until your knees hit the edge of the bed. You land on your back with a small grunt, and the vertigo worsens. Fuck, you're starting to think that it isn't only because of the blindfold. She climbs over you, until she's practically straddling your fucking hips, before leaning down to kiss you. It's slow, and deep, and leaves you gasping for air by the time she pulls away. You reach a hand up to take off the blindfold because fuck it's too much and you need to fucking see her right now.

However, her hand grabs yours before you can remove it. You can feel the light chuckle she lets out.

"I fucking hate you. I hope you know that." You say through clenched teeth.

"Hate is a strong word, Karkles."

"Why do you think I fucking used it?"

"Well then, I hate you, too."

You lean up to capture her mouth with hers before she can say anything else. If this was going to happen, you were going to have some say in it.

The moment she lets go of your hand, you manage to get her onto her back. Her breath rings in your ears, and suddenly that's all you can hear. Her small breathing, and the blood pounding in your ears.

You feel something wet run along your jaw and you quickly pull away just enough to speak.

"Did you just lick me?"

"Why, yes. Do you have a problem with that?"

"You're disgusting. I hope you're aware of that." Regardless of what you just said, you lean back down to kiss her again. Apparently she decided to put her tongue to actual fucking use, because you feel it slide across your bottom lip. You open your mouth for her immediately.

Her leg moves to wrap around your waist, bringing both of your hips together. Fuck. You're suddenly glad that she can't see you, because you probably look ridiculous. All of the anger you've felt building up towards her is released in every kiss. Remembering all of those times when you wanted to scream about how much you hated her. However, instead of yelling, you move to try to kiss down her neck.

Her hands are gripped tight in your hair, and it feels like you're going to burst. A strange sense of elation and resentment swirls around in you until you make a small nip at her skin. Terezi gives a small squirm beneath you, and you can't help but smile while kissing over it.

Taking your chance, you rip the blindfold off. It's still dark, thanks to the blinds, but you can still make out her face. She's flushed, contrasting the freakishly white pillows behind her.

Shit.

Jesus fucking christ you just can't catch a fucking break.

"Something wrong?"

"I... I need to use your bathroom."

She makes a clearly confused face before saying okay. You - very carefully - climb off of her, and do your best not to run to the bathroom.

When you walk back into her bedroom, Terezi is still laying on the bed. She now has her sunglasses back on, with her head hanging upside down over the edge.

"Hey."

"So you didn't run off this time?"

"Nope."

You sit down on the floor beside where she's hanging.

She opens her mouth to speak, "That was-"

"Can we just... not? At least right away?" It's obvious that she wants to talk about it, but the tone in your voice is practically fucking begging her. So instead of pushing it, she simply nods.

The two of you are quiet for a bit. Sure, the colour had drained from both of your faces, but your heart still needs to stop pounding so loudly.

Eventually you let out a small sigh.

"You weren't really going to the bathroom, while you were in the bathroom. Were you?"

"What do you fucking think?"

You don't need to turn your head to know that a smile grows on her face.

"It's getting late. I should probably go before my dad thinks you kidnapped me or something." Grumbling, you lean over to kiss her on the cheek before standing up.

"See you tomorrow."

After an awkward goodbye with her aunt at the doorway, it takes twice as long to drive home than it usually would.


	10. Chapter 10

"Look, all I'm saying is that it's a stupid idea." There's a loud crunch as you stab a lonely piece of lettuce with your fork. "Why do you even want to come with us? I mean, I know that you love theatrics and all..."

"I just thought that it would be an interestin' time." Eridan sits across from you at a table for two. After you'd gotten home last night, the first thing you did was log onto Pesterchum to clear your mind. And what was waiting for you? A message from the boy with purple streaks in his hair, complaining about how desperately he needed to speak with you. In private, of course.

And of course, you agreed. Like the fucking amazing friend you are. However, what you didn't expect was to be sitting in an empty corner of the cafeteria while he poured his troubles over your excuse for a salad. It was far enough away from others to stay private, but not so far as to attract attention.

"Interesting time, my ass."

He adjusts the purple and blue striped scarf that's wrapped around his neck. Seriously, who would wear a scarf inside? "Why do you have to be gettin' all defensive?"

You answer his question with one of your own. "Is this so you can hang out with Vriska? Some sort of elaborate plan to try to make Feferi jealous?"

"Are you worried about me whiskin' Rezi away before you can do somethin' about whatever is goin' on between the two a you?"

"I'm not getting defensive!" You're louder than you intend. Shit. Okay, breathe in and out. Your eyes close for a moment, before you repeat yourself in a hushed voice. "I... I'm not getting defensive, okay?"

"Somethin' you'd like to share with the class, Kar?"

"I went to Terezi's house yesterday."

"That ain't exactly news."

"Then why are you even fucking asking me?"

"Because it's either this, or you listenin' to me talk about Fef." He threatens you with a mischievous smile.

"God, please no."

There's a pause of silence as he waits for you continue. Your hand rubs the back of your neck and you rest your elbows on the table. Suddenly, your food is looking even less appetizing than usual.

"We kissed... And stuff."

He raises his eyebrows at you, "And stuff?"

"Yes. And stuff. Sorry that my issues aren't as melodramatic, and Shakespeare-worthy as your own."

"Jesus, Kar. No reason to get upset. Now are you plannin' on lettin' me in on this stuff that happened or?"

"No, because that is not a thing that needs to happen." You turn around and glance at Terezi and Vriska, who have apparently decided to sit by themselves today as well. Vriska is watching you. No, she's fucking  _assessing_  you. You send a glare before returning your attention to Eridan. "Conversation topic over."

"No. You need to talk to someone about this. Not goin' and fuckin' off, tryin' to deal with this on your own, like usual."

"If you didn't have that fucking accent, I swear to god you could be mistaken for Kanaya right now."

You're grumbling and you know it. But fuck this isn't something that you want to talk about. If anything, you just want to pretend it never happened. Sure, it  _did_ happen, and it was nice... But it's over now. A one time thing. You didn't run off right after, but that doesn't mean that you're comfortable talking about it. Or willing to admit just how much you enjoyed it.

"Do you like her?"

"I... No. It's just. Fuck." You rub your eyes, trying to pull yourself together. Maybe then you can carry on an actual fucking conversation. "I don't know. Maybe?"

"Well," he says, putting emphasis on the "w". As if it was all really, very simple. "why don't you ask her out?"

Your hands clench before answering, "It's not that easy. I don't think I can manage a healthy  _friendship_  with her. Much less a fucking relationship. It's amazing that we haven't ended up strangling each other yet. And do I need to reiterate that fact that I don't even know if I like her?"

You're about to continue when you hear a set of footsteps approach. It looks like Sollux has dragged over a chair from another table, setting it in the space between you and Eridan.

"Hey, where's Feferi?" You ask. It was pretty fucking weird for him to even be approaching the two of you without her.

"Went home sick." He mutters, plopping down in the chair.

Meanwhile, Eridan is glaring at him the entire time. "Excuse you, but in case you hadn't noticed, Kar and I are havin' a private conversation here."

"Don't worry, I noticed." He flashes a grin that is obviously meant to be annoying. You would know, since he uses it every time the two of you play video games. You think you hear Eridan mutter something along the lines of "fuckin' asshole", but decide to ignore it. Sollux, however, doesn't seem to be as forgiving.

"What did you say?"

"I said-"

"Okay, okay. Break it up before this becomes some sort of lover's quarrel. We don't need everyday to be a fucking soap opera around here." They both turn to look at you, obviously distracted by your outburst, wearing the same expression. Wide eyes, mouths dropped, and Sol seems to be looking very pale.

"It was a fucking joke, you guys. Jesus." They both grumble at you something unintelligible, causing you to roll your eyes. "You guys are so fucking weird. I'm leaving."

You have to do your best not to glance at Terezi and Vriska while you leave the cafeteria. However, you can still feel their eyes on your back.

For the rest of the day, the majority of your energy is spent avoiding Terezi. Showing up late to class, going to the bathroom whenever possible, the works. You don't know what's fucking wrong with you, but the mere thought of having to talk about what happened yesterday makes your stomach clench. It fucking terrifies you to the point where after class, you head straight to the library. Then, at least she can't find you at your locker.

But what you didn't think of, was that she could just fucking follow you. So that is how you ended up here, practically cornered in an aisle of the library with her. You did your best to look through the books without really processing any of the titles you saw.

"So, about next week. We should probably leave the night before, so that we can get to the hotel and have time to get ready in the morning."

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

Then you feel her take your hand, and simply hold it. Shit. What is she doing now? This isn't supposed to be fucking happening. Your chest tightens, and you force yourself to let go. Yes, good. Okay. Your hand feels cold now, but at least you can fucking breathe.

"Are you coming over again after school today?"

"... No. I have some shit to do. Not all of us have time to fuck around in our bedrooms, working on crap that will most likely end up useless after a day of walking around doing nothing."

Her lips form in a flat line before she speaks. There's a darkness in her voice that makes you want to run for the nearest exit. "Okay, whenever you decide to stop being an asshole, let me know." Terezi turns, her cane held out in front of her as she walks away.

Sighing, you grab the first book you see off of the shelf, and promptly raise it up to smack your forehead.

* * *

"So who's going to be driving to this thing, anyway?"

"You. Unless you trust Vriska to."

You look up from the desk in your bedroom and turn around to send a glare at Terezi. Maybe if you stare long enough, she'll be able to sense the fact that there is no fucking way you're putting your life in Vriska's hands.

After a couple of minutes you give up, and firmly say, "Hell no."

There are three more days until the con, and Terezi's insanity is going to make you snap. You had waited until yesterday to finally apologize, and she forgave you easily enough. However, there's still a suspicion that she only said it because she was too distracted with everything else. Luckily, you managed to drag her to your house instead. You were actually just hoping for some sort of break, but no. Apparently this was all she would be thinking about, because now your room was littered with her shit.

So here you are. Sitting at your desk, finishing the god damn dragon skull, as Terezi makes a checklist of things that need to be done. Honestly, the only reason you're working so hard is because it will be your fault if it doesn't get finished. And fuck her if she is going to try making you feel guilty for that.

"Speaking of Vriska," you say as you begin painting the clay white, "when is she showing up?" When hearing about your plans, Vriska had promptly "volunteered" to come over as well. And as much as you didn't want her in your house, it was the only option. The only silver lining was that she promised to drag Kanaya along as well.

Like clockwork, there was a knock at the door. "Speak of the she-devil." You mutter, standing up. "I'll be back."

You leave to let them in, and almost instantly Vriska walks in. You have to catch yourself from falling after trying to get out of her way. Kanaya trails in after her, and offers you a smile.

"Hi, Karkat. How has your day been?"

Vriska must have found your room by now, because you can hear the distant laughter of her and Terezi echoing.

Turning to Kanaya, you groan.

"That well? Don't worry, we have all day to catch up." A smirk plays on her lips when you let out another sound of exasperation. Simply patting your shoulder, she leads the way to your bedroom, and you follow.

When you enter your room, Kanaya sits on the floor a few feet away, tucking her legs to the side thanks to her green dress. Terezi is still sitting on the bed, with Vriska standing in front of her. She's now wearing a large, black hat that should have been drowned back with the pirate who obviously used to own it. It's lined with dark blue fabric, and holds one, matching blue feather.

"And who the fuck are you supposed to be?" You mutter, taking your place back in your chair. Fuck do you love this chair. It swivels, and is just the right height for you to reach the floor. Hell. Fucking. Yes.

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you." She grins, removing it to sit beside Terezi.

You roll your eyes, and turn to Kanaya. "What about you?"

"I do admit that I'll be dressing up as well."

"As who?"

"I'm afraid I can't say." You give her a pleading look, but all she does is smile. "But I can assure you that it is  _not_  from an entirely different show than Terezi's and Vriska's characters. As well, they are  _not_  going to be dressing as each other's enemies in any way whatsoever."

"Kanaya! You aren't supposed to tell him!" Vriska yells. You can't hold back the smile on your face.

"I didn't. I said that you  _weren't_."

"So I guess it's all your fault, Vriska. Thanks a fucking lot." You speak up, causing Terezi to let out a giggle.

"Oh, shut up." She tosses the hat at Terezi with a bit more force than necessary.

"Yeah, just go and throw shit at the blind girl. That will get people to like you." Her tone is harsh, but the smile hasn't been wiped off of her face yet.

After that, it goes a bit quiet. Everyone begins working on their own projects. You paint, Vriska is sewing buttons onto, well,  _something_ , and Kanaya seems to be sketching an outfit. As for Terezi, well - to be honest, you have no idea what the fuck she is doing.

Eventually, you get lost in thought. You think it's somewhere along when you finished painting the dragon spikes, and began the red eyes. Pretty soon the paint on your hands has dried, and you're yawning. Fuck, you're tired. Your shoulders are sagged from leaning over so much, and it feels like you're ready to collpase. Either way, the next time you look up, Vriska is sitting beside Kanaya. It looks like they're having some sort of quiet discussion. Why they're whispering, you don't know.

But then it hits you. You look over to where Terezi was, and she's now laying down. No. There was no fucking way she fell asleep on your fucking bed. But there she is, practically passed out. Her back is towards you, so that she's facing the wall. A low rumble escapes from the back of your throat in frustration. If you wake her up now, all she's going to do is want to work more. Glancing back to the clay, you see that it's almost dried. You can finish whatever else needs to be done tomorrow. Right now, you need fucking sleep.

You look back to Vriska and Kanaya, and they seem too busy to notice that you're standing up. Even you can hardly process it. But there you are, at the edge of the bed. Flopping over, you lay down on your stomach beside her, only to receive a mouth full of pillow. You have to shift your head to the side, and surprisingly it's  _that_  that wakes her.

She makes a small noise, beginning to wake up, when you snap at her.

"Shut up, and lay the fuck back down. I'm trying to sleep."

* * *

Vriska looks up from Kanaya's sketchbook - they had been going over the final designs for their jackets - and sees Karkat now sleeping next to Terezi on the bed. Grinning, she elbows the other girl and motions to the pair.

"It looks like  _soooooooomeone's_  tired."

Almost instantly, Kanaya is putting her things back into her bag. "We should probably leave them."

"You're no fun." She crosses her arms, but stands up as well.

Kanaya simply raises an eyebrow at her, "Do you want to be the one to deal with the consequences of Karkat waking up to you looming over him?"

Rolling her eyes, she follows Kanaya out of the room, into the hallway, and eventually out to the car.

"You win this time, Maryam. But don't think that I'll let you pull me into your Mary Sue ways next time."

"I wouldn't expect anything less."


	11. Chapter 11

Shit.

That's your first thought. Hitting you harder than speeding truck. A speeding truck that's full of champion weightlifters. On steroids.

The ones that follow are - although very creative - not exactly appropriate. Much less to say out loud.

And your last thought?

_No._

No no no no. This is not fucking happening. You are not laying next to Terezi on your bed, the two of you hadn't fallen asleep last night, and the sun isn't peeking through your curtains. No. It - just - no. Dear fucking god please let this all just be a dream. You squeeze your eyes shut. Just wake up. Wake up wake up wake up. You bite your lip, maybe this was a dream. Maybe your imagination was just fucking you over.

You flinch from the pain of drawing a pinprick of blood, and let out a sigh. Okay. It wasn't a dream.

Finally, you force yourself to open your eyes. Although you remember falling asleep on your stomach, you're now on your side, facing her. One arm stretched out, you can feel the weight of her head resting on it. Your other arm is draped across her side, with her back pressed to your chest. All you can smell is watermelons, and without thinking you bury your nose into the back of her neck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

You have to try your best not to pull her closer. To not practically cling to her for dear life. If you wake her up now, she'll just tease you for ending up like this. Maybe you can... just not? She is asleep, after all. If she wakes up, you can always close your own eyes. Fuck you shouldn't be doing this, but you do anyway. You tighten your grip just enough so that she'll stay asleep and oh god _this is not what friends do_.

A hand moves to rest over your own, and you have to go against every instinct not to jump five fucking feet in the air. You frown into her hair. God, do you hate her. You hate her with every bone in your body. Every fiber of your fucking being is spent on hating her. That's why when she moves, you curl around her even more tightly. You hate her you hate her you hate her. Yes, you admit to being pretty fucking childish right now. But fuck her. You'll hate her if you want to.

"Karkat?"

Your eyes flash open at the sound of her voice. Shit. Instinctively, you move forward. As if you're trying to bury yourself in her hair.

"Karkat, are you pretending to be asleep?"

You give the smallest shake of your head, hoping that she won't feel it.

"You are, aren't you?"

"Shut up."

You hear her let out a quiet laugh as she rolls over. Squeezing your eyes shut again, you refuse to look up at her; more afraid of what you'll find than anything else. Her fingers mess with your hair to the point where you aren't sure if she's fixing it, or just fucking with it for her own pleasure.

"Go away." You groan, even though your grip doesn't loosen at all.

"Nope. We have lots to do today! We leave tomorrow."

'I'm sorry, I can't hear you over not giving a fuck."

She slides her arms around your waist to give you a somewhat awkward hug before sitting up. Left by yourself on the bed, you roll back onto your stomach and pull the pillow over your head.

This pillow is your only friend now, and you will proceed to treat it as such.

That's why when she pulls it off of your head, you look up to frown at her. "I hate you."

"That's okay." She plants a quick kiss on the top of your head, before hitting you viciously with the pillow. "Now get up."

"No."

"Get up."

"No."

"Get up."

"No."

"Karkles. Get up. Now."

"Not happening."

"Get up, or I will make you get up."

"I'd like to see you fucking try."

As soon as the words leave your mouth, you feel something wet and disgusting slide along the palm of your hand. The suddenness of it makes you bolt up right and nearly fall to the fucking floor.

"Jesus fucking christ what is with you and licking people! Do you not have any sense of personal space whatsoever? It's worse than a fucking dog attacking the civil citizen that is the mailman every fucking morning. Congratulations, Terezi. You have succeeded in making everyone in this fucking room uncomfortable. Not to mention that you now probably have some sort of toxic poisoning from the amount of paint you just wiped off of my hand with your tongue."

She's giggling through your entire speech. You're ready to go on about how the poisoning probably won't even fucking affect her after all of the chalk she's inhaled throughout her lifetime, before you realize that it's worthless. It's likely that she can't even fucking hear you over her own fucking laughter. Hell, maybe that's why she does laugh so much. To drown you out. Sighing in defeat, you simply rub your eyes, trying to wake up.

"Fuck, what time is it?"

"Noon."

"Won't your aunt freak out that you aren't home?"

"Probably not. She knows that I came over last night." Terezi walks over and sits in your chair. No. That's your chair. It's stupid to be so protective over it, but you really don't want it to start smelling like watermelon once she leaves.

You don't need yet another reminder of her fucking existence in your room. But you realize that it doesn't matter how many reminders there are, because right now the real fucking thing is standing right in front of you.

"If I get up, we're not working. Not yet, at least."

"Ugh, fine." Her entire body sags in defeat as she gets up. "So does this mean you're going to wake up?" When you don't respond, she pokes you in the ribs.

"Fucking hell, yes. I'll get up. Just go wait for me in the kitchen or something."

Eventually she leaves, and you get out of bed to find some clean clothes. Settling on a black t-shirt, jeans, and red zip-up hoodie, you enter the kitchen to see her sitting at the table. Eating.

Eating your food.

How the hell did she even find out where the cereal was? Did she go through your entire kitchen or something? Actually, no. You aren't sure that you want to know how she came across it.

Walking past her to get your own bowl, you simply say, "Rude."

"How so, Karkles?"

You shake your head, "Forget it."

Taking the box to fill your own bowl, you sit down across from her at the table. She continues to eat - obviously not affected by your presence. It's quiet. Or at least the quietest it's been with her around. You listen to the food crunching. Grudgingly, you can't help but notice how... fucking  _domestic_  it all feels. As if it were any other day. Like a routine is beginning to form.

Okay, no. This train of thought needs to stop. You aren't going to let yourself begin thinking about what it would be like if this happens again. About how you would be able to handle waking up around her without freaking out. No. Terezi is your friend, and you aren't going to screw up nearly two months of work in five minutes.

And you most definitely are not going to entertain shitty, unrealistic thoughts that will only lead to false hope.

* * *

The rest of the day was spent mostly watching movies, as Terezi fiddled with your hair and made conversation. At first, you had made numerous attempts to stop her (at one point even sitting at the opposite side of the fucking room), but she was too fucking persistent for you. It was only between movies - when you got up to change them - that you'd have a few spare minutes to untangle whatever the fuck she did with it. However, it was like an endless cycle of fucking torture.

And it never ended.

It's approximately four movies later (you've lost count, and refuse to believe Terezi when she says 'a million and two'), and you finally shut the television off. It's getting late, your dad is home from work, and you suspect that she'll need to leave soon.

You're both sitting on the couch now. You had moved after complaining that the floor was too uncomfortable and her "fucking hair fetish" was going to give you a headache from hell. She's sitting sideways beside you, somehow managing to stay balanced with her legs laying across your own.

"Hey, Karkat?"

"What?"

"We're friends, right?" Her head rests against the side of the couch. Even though you  _know_  that she can't see you, it still feels like her eyes are burning into your skull.  _  
_

"Do you really think that I'd let someone try - and fail - to braid my hair if we weren't friends?"

"Okay."

You feel yourself frown. It was pretty strange for her to be so direct. Eventually curiosity gets the best of you.

"... Why?"

"You never said if we were or not."

"Oh. Well... We are. I guess."

"Do you like me?"

"Well, obviously. We wouldn't fucking be here right now if I actually hate you as much as I say." You can't help but roll your eyes at the question.

"So you  _don't_  hate me?"

"Oh, I do. I think you're a fucking maniac." Okay, this is getting... more than a little uncomfortable for you. How are you supposed to tell her that half of the time she's around you have to try not to strangle the closest object. And the other half you're... you don't know what the fuck you are the other half. You hate her, but at the same time you don't. Which only makes the hate for her  _grow_  for making you feel this fucking confused. Your hand begins to fumble with the hem of her pants. Why is she even fucking asking you this? You take in a deep breath, "But... I guess I don't hate you all of the time. It's... difficult to explain."

Terezi simply nods. "Well, I think you know all about my feelings." Her lips form a small smile.

You aren't entirely sure that you do. But okay, you agree anyway. When she opens her mouth to say more, you quickly interrupt her.

"Do we have to talk about this now?" It's amazing how calm you've been, but it can only last for so long. You can almost feel your mind beginning to fray at the edges. Your words cause her to practically pout at you.

"We have to some time."

"I know. And we will. I promise we will. Just... not now, okay?"

"Fine."

There's a buzz from her phone. When she picks it up you can tell that it's her aunt.

And just like that, she swings her legs off of your lap, stands up, and pats the side of your face. You can only hope that she had meant to hit the top of your head but missed.

"I have to go, but I'll see you tomorrow night." She grins down at you.

"Yeah, sure." Standing, you make sure to lead her and her crap to the door. You can see car lights in the driveway as she walks off, and when you lean against the door it takes all of your effort to not just fall over.

You're so done.

"And how was your day?"

Eyes snapping open, you jump at your dad's voice. It's surprisingly calm. He's been around most of the day, but you've only gotten to see him now. Jesus christ it was almost like you'd been home alone all day.

Almost.

"Fine."

"Everything okay? You seem a bit tired."

"Yeah. I should... probably go to bed early. Or something."

"Well, if you need to talk. I'll be in the kitchen." He walks away when you nod silently.

You are so fucking done with this bullshit.

* * *

The next evening, you pull into Terezi's driveway with Kanaya at your side. You swear that all of her shit filled up half of the trunk in your car, and you can only hope that she is the only one who will be so... prepared.

"I had to bring the extra things, incase something went wrong with the costumes." She tried to reassure you on the way there.

"Yeah, sure."

It's the night before the con. Also what you've been referring to yourself as 'The Night of Doom'. Because, no matter how many times Terezi tries to reassure you, you know that spending four hours in a car with two of the most obnoxious people whom you have ever met is going to be far from "fun".

You honk the horn twice, hoping that you won't have to go to the door. Luckily, you don't, and pretty soon she is grinning down the driveway. She has her schoolbag slung over her shoulder, as well as a teal duffle bag in her hand.

"Took you long enough." You say under your breath. She shuts the car door, taking a seat behind you before hitting your shoulder.

"Hush. We need to hurry up and get Vriska."

By the time you actually get to Vriska's, she is waiting outside for you. The moment she gets into the car is when you are certain hell has frozen over.

* * *

"Tereeeeeeeezi, do you want to play a game?"

"Vriska, do you want to show the fuck up in one fucking piece?"

"Someone's  _crabby_."

" _Someone_  has been sleep deprived for the past fucking two weeks, and has now been dragged into driving your asses to god knows where for four hours."

"Would you like me to take over for a bit, Karkat?"

"You're too nice for your own good, Maryam."

"I don't think that she was fucking talking to you. And no, I'm fine. For now. But I swear to god if anyone says another word I will kick them to the curb. And don't think that I'm not being fucking literal, because I am. You all can find some way to get your own asses there."

"As if you'd kick Terezi out." Vriska snaps.

You raise your eyebrows at her through the rearview mirror. "You want a bet?"

That seems to get everyone to quiet down, and allows you to focus on driving. At one point Kanaya turns on the radio quietly - probably hoping to ease the tension that has come over all of you.


	12. Chapter 12

You arrive at the hotel just after midnight. Regardless of the time, though, Terezi practically jumping up and down in her seat.

"Jesus, Terezi. Calm the fuck down." You cut off the ignition after finding a relatively close parking spot. Turning around, she sticks out her tongue tauntingly at you. "Are you guys ready to go or what?"

With that, everyone climbs out of the car. You open the trunk and right away Vriska pushes you to the side so that she can grab her many bags. Kanaya steps up beside you, her own things somehow already retrieved. Seeing how much everyone else brought, it makes you a bit uneasy. You had spent the entire day packing, but only ended up with your backpack, for inside the con, and a smallish red duffle bag. Of course, it's when you think of this that Vriska makes a comment on your lack of luggage.

"Well, Karkat. It looks like you brought everything but the kitchen sink."

Before you can give a retort, Kanaya speaks for you. "Of course, it's not like he has a costume."

Vriska grumbles something unintelligible in reply, and you can't help but smirk. You shut the trunk with a loud click when Terezi seems to have gathered her things.

By the time you get into the hotel - Terezi hanging onto your arm for guidance - Kanaya is already at the desk. The three of them had chosen to oh so considerately decide without you that it would be a great fucking idea for the four of you to share a room.

To "save money" _, of course._

You had made some pretty vocal protests, but in the end it was three against one. And hell if you are going to pay for your own room. However, that doesn't mean you didn't go down without a fight. It just doesn't make any fucking sense to you - whatever money they save is going to be spent tomorrow.

Regardless, you take the room key from Kanaya when she approaches you.

By the time you get to the room you're still grumbling. Mostly, though, it's just out of spite.

"If it bugs you  _soooooooo_  much, why don't you just sleep in the bathroom or something? Ke$ha style."

Kanaya's voice echoes behind you, " _Vriska._ "

Rolling your eyes, you lead Terezi to the bed before sitting down beside her. The room is spacious, thank god. You had been lucky to score a room with two beds. Even if they were on the small side. Terezi falls backwards but not without trying to pull you down with her.

"Fuck off." You grumble. "I'm not in the mood to do whatever creepy thing you have planned." Frowning, she manages to settle for taking your hand and lacing your fingers together. You glance over to Kanaya whom gives you a look of understanding before heading to the bathroom with Vriska. While it's not what you had been thinking, it's good enough. Once she's out of sight you let yourself fall back next to Terezi.

"What do you want?"

"Hmm?"

"You've been really... quiet pretty much all night. It's fucking creepy as shit. So what do you want?"

You sigh when she doesn't answer.

The two of you still haven't discussed your... relationship yet. To be honest, you aren't even sure if that's the fucking word you need to describe whatever is going on. She tried to push it again yesterday, but you narrowly dodged the topic. It hasn't really come up again since and you're glad. It's given you time to sort out the fucking shit hole that is your head.

At first, it started off simply. Not one of those big, emotional breakthroughs that are always in the movies. There wasn't any rain, or depressing background music. You didn't take the bus to some unknown, sketchy location while looking out the window with fucking longing.

It went more along the lines of engaging in a Pesterchum chat. With yourself.

Yeah, even you have to admit it sounds fucking pathetic.

* * *

\- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 16:24 -

 **CG:**  UM.

 **CG:**  HI.

 **CG:**  THIS IS STUPID.

 **CG:**  WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN DOING ANYMORE. WHAT WAS I FUCKING THINKING.

 **CG:**  TALKING TO *MYSELF*?

 **CG:**  WHAT WAS I EXPECTING TO COME FROM THIS. CLEARLY NOTHING OF USE.

 **CG:**  CONGRATULATIONS KARKAT. YOU HAVE REACHED NEW LEVELS OF HOW TO BE A NARCISSISTIC ASSHOLE. YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE WILL BE TRYING TO FUCKING MARRY YOURSELF OR SOME SHIT.

 **CG:**  HOW THE FUCK DOES SHE EVEN PUT UP WITH ME.

 **CG:**  I KNOW I WOULDNT.

 **CG:**  ...

 **CG:**  I HATE HER.

 **CG:**  YES. I HATE HER. THAT IS CERTAIN. ITS PRACTICALLY WRITTEN IN THE FUCKING STARS. CENTURIES FROM NOW PEOPLE WILL LOOK UP AT THE SKY AND SAY

 **CG:**  HEY YOU SEE THAT.

 **CG:**  SEE WHAT.

 **CG:**  ITS THE AMOUNT OF FUCKS KARKAT SHOWED TEREZI THROUGHOUT THEIR ENTIRE SHITTY RELATIONSHIP

 **CG:**  BUT I DONT SEE ANYTHING.

 **CG:**  *EXACTLY*

 **CG:**  WOW WHAT AN ASSHOLE.

 **CG:**  I KNOW.

 **CG:**  ...

 **CG:**  OKAY THIS IS GETTING STUPID AGAIN.

**\- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 16:41 -**

* * *

While it wasn't the conversation you wanted, it did help you clear your head in a way. Because whatever train wreck of emotions you realize you have for this girl, it's better than the insanity of  _that_  conversation.

Seriously, what the fuck were you thinking?

Regardless, it's getting easier to... accept the fact that you may like her. May. May or may not. And _shit_  this is exactly what you're trying to stop. Constantly being confused in a mess of hate lo-like. Like and hate. Glancing over, you can see that her shades have been knocked down the bridge of her nose, letting you see a pair of closed eyes.

"Are you asleep?"

"No."

"Then why do you have your fucking eyes closed."

"Shut up, okay?" Her voice is soft, but you can just barely trace a harsher undertone.

"Fuck it. If you want to be left alone, fine." You don't know what set you off, but pretty soon you're off of the bed and across the room. You dig through your bag; looking more for a distraction than anything.

When Kanaya and Vriska return to the room, you stand up from the bed opposite of Terezi, and let them know that you're going for a walk.

You really need to fucking clear your head.

* * *

Vriska frowns when the door is practically slammed shut. "What's up with him?" She walks over to Terezi, crossing her arms before waiting for an answer. Meanwhile, Kanaya moves to stand beside her.

"He's... He's stupid. A stupid idiot." Terezi doesn't bother sitting up when she speaks, but simply keeps up the illusion that she would be looking at the ceiling if it was possible.

"Well, obviously." There's a pause before Vriska continues. "Are you doing okay? You look a little sick."

Kanaya couldn't help but give her a side glance. This was more a bit strange. Yes, Vriska and Terezi are good friends, but it always seems like there's a bit of a rivalry between them at the same time. It's rare that Kanaya sees her show genuine concern.

Then again, she knows that the girl isn't completely heartless. Far from it.

She opens her mouth to speak, but Terezi beats her to it. Sitting up with a - metaphorical - spark in her eye.

"I hate him." She announces. It's nearly a declaration. "I hate him I hate him I hate him."

"Sure you do."

She stands up, beginning to pace back and forth. The other girls notice that she doesn't stray too far; clearly not wanting to walk into something during her rant. "I hate everything about him. I hate his stupid hair. I hate his stupid clothes. And his stupid berry flavors. I hate everything about him."

Kanaya looks to Vriska, for once at a loss of what to say, but only receives a raised eyebrow.

"Is there something you'd care to tell us, Terezi?"

* * *

The next morning is as chaotic as you had feared. At least, that's what you're assuming. Why do you have to assume? Because at eight in the fucking morning you were awakened with a pillow slamming into your fucking face, clothes thrust into your hands, and forced out of the room after barely having enough time to change in the bathroom.

_"We need to get ready, as well as make any adjustments that may be needed."_

Running a hand through your hair, you make a failed attempt to smooth it out. Fucking great. You shake your head to yourself. Kanaya had said not to come back for at least an hour.

You begin wandering down the hallway aimlessly, until finally deciding to go downstairs. When the elevator doors open, there's already someone inside. A guy who you can only guess is your own age. While his height would tell you differently - because fuck he's tall - there's a passiveness on his face that immediately makes him appear younger. His hair is a dark mop that looks like it was just dropped on his head. It falls to his shoulders in slight waves.

You step inside, and the entire elevator smells of smoke. From the glazed look over his eyes you can only guess that it's weed.

"And where would you like this big box of miracles to be transportalizing you, my brother?" Fuck, if you had any doubts on his intoxication before, they were gone now. What the hell is this guy talking about? Is 'transportalizing' even a word? You don't think so.

"Lobby." You snap defensively as he presses one of the buttons. There's an awkward pause while the two of you stand on opposite sides of the elevator. Your posture is rigid, with your arms crossed. Meanwhile, he seems as relaxed as someone on morphine.

"How long have you been in here?" You finally ask carefully.

"Who motherfuckin' knows, man." He glances up at the lights overhead before squinting.

"Well, when are you leaving?"

"All depends on where the motherfuckin' box feels like taking me. I ain't about to disturb a brother who feels like getting his lift on."

It's all you can do not to gape at him.

"It's like, this motherfuckin' thing goes and does all these motherfuckin' miracles all day for us. But - listen to me here - when does the motherfuckin' elevator get to experience some of its own miracles. Need to pay the miracle machine some of the respect it deserves. Just hang out a bit, and be a bro."

"It's an elevator." You deadpan.

"And somehow it always knows where we want to motherfuckin' go and shit."

"That's because you press the buttons."

Your getting angry now, but he doesn't seem to notice or care. There's a stupid half smile stuck on his face while you fume silently. Finally, though, the doors open and you do your best to get the hell out of there. He calls after you, saying bye, but you still ignore it.

An hour of walking, strolling, and avoiding certain elevators later, you make your way back up to the room. You search your pockets for the room key, but you must have forgotten it while being pushed out because it isn't there. Sighing, you knock on the door impatiently.

"Helloooooooo, Karkat." Vriska swings the door open with a flourish. She's obviously intent on showing her outfit with a flourish. The first thing you notice is the hat from last week. Under it sits black, unruly hair, and you aren't quite sure if it's a wig or her own at this point. Long black gloves cover her arms, and she's also wearing a black jacket that falls all the way down to her knees. It's accented in the same blue on the hat, and her lips. The only things that don't seem to be blue or black are her boots. Instead, they're a bright red.

"Vriska." There's a pause, "Are you going to let me in or what?"

"I choose what." She sneers at you, but leaves the door open for you after turning around.

The moment you enter you see Kanaya. She's wearing an outfit that seems very similar to Vriska's. It - again - is all black with green stripes and designs. On her one shoulder is some sort of symbol that looks like an 'M'. But, rather than it being a long coat, it's a dress with squared off shoulders. There's also a strange, transparent fabric hanging over her. What you're most impressed by is the quality. No wonder it's taken her so fucking long to finish it.

If you aren't hellbent on spiting everyone on this trip, you'd think that it was pretty fucking good.

However, no matter how fucking good Vriska or Kanaya's costumes are, you aren't expecting the costume Terezi is wearing. At all.


	13. Chapter 13

_Kanaya shuts the door behind her, and nearly stomps up to the two of you. It feels like you're a fucking five year old, sitting on the bed as you both look up at her._

_"Okay. Clearly dealing with this in a calm and cultivated matter is out of the question." She places her hands on her hips. Normally you would think that it looks fucking ludicrous, but the spark in her eye warns you not to fuck around. Eventually you give in to her look. However, right when you choose to speak is when Terezi does as well._

_"Terezi won't speak to me."_

_"Karkat is a douchebag."_

_Your eyes snap to her, "I'm sorry, but what?"_

_"You heard me."_

_"Well, you're a fucking maniac, but you don't hear me complaining."_

_Before anyone can say anything else, Kanaya cuts in._

_"Okay, that's enough. Terezi, would you mind telling Karkat why you're so angry with him?"_

_She crosses her arms, "Yes, I do mind. If his cherry filled rage can't figure it out, then I'm not telling him."_

_"So mature." Kanaya rolls her eyes, sarcasm fucking dripping from her words._

_"Maybe I'll be immature for once. Not unlike Sir Crabby Pants over here."_

_"Oh, fuck you."_

_"Fuck you!"_

_You're both standing up again and Kanaya has to shake your shoulder to snap you out of it._

_"I don't know what is going on anymore," she admits, "but we can deal with whatever it is when we get back. Don't let the entire weekend get ruined because of a mindless, petty fight."_

_Your shoulders sag slightly, and you nod._

_"Karkat, you can go do what you'd like. I can spend the rest of the day with Terezi."_

_"Thanks." Taking that as your queue to leave, you step past her to exit the room._

* * *

**That Morning:**

"Ta da!"

You turn around just as Terezi enters from the bathroom. Immediately your mouth drops because holy shit that is a lot of red. Boots, gloves, vest, and skirt. All fucking red, with small pieces of black or white detailing. The only thing that doesn't scream stop light seems to be the teal fabric underneath, covering her arms and legs. She's beaming proudly while holding her cane in the air like a knight prepared for battle. On top of it, is the dragon head that you made.

"What do you think?"

It takes Kanaya's sharp prod in the shoulder for you to answer. "Cool." It's one word, but you decide that it's good enough. There's no need for her to know the full extent of how fucking 'cool' it is.

"Cool?" Terezi raises an eyebrow and takes a step forward. Her usual glasses have been replaced with a pair of new, frameless ones. The lenses are bright red as well, matching the rest of her outfit.

It's more intimidating than you want to admit.

"Yes, cool." You turn to Vriska and Kanaya, "Are we ready to get this shit over with?"

* * *

When you first enter the convention, your mouth immediately drops. Sure, it was expected that there'd be a crowd - Terezi had even tried to warn you last night - but this was definitely  _not_  what you were expecting. There's a buzz in the air, and your eyes widen as your stomach drops.

You're forced to stumble forward when a hand pushes you. Put into motion, you finally beging to move with the crowd. Apparently this was not a place for personal fucking space. Vriska leads Terezi by the hand in front of you, and you follow until they stop in front of a table. It's covered in little trinkets that you assume are from some stupid fucking show you've never heard of - like most of the things here are.

"What's up, my motherfuckers?" You glance up to see the douche bag from the elevator sitting on the other side of the table. Jesus, this guy is everywhere, isn't he?

The only difference now is that he's wearing white face paint. It would be a bit concerning if you didn't find it so fucking ridiculous. Beside him is a much smaller guy (even though anyone would look small next to him), with a mohawk that's just long enough to be considered shaggy.

Apparently Vriska doesn't notice the greeting. She nearly slaps her hands on the table before leaning forward - all while grinning mercilessly. "Heeeeeeeey, Tavros." Suddenly he looks very, very uncomfortable. Or maybe it's just the wheelchair he's in.

You have to stop yourself in that thought.

Fuck. That was really rude. Even for you.

Shaking your head, you let yourself snap at Vriska. "What? You know these shitheads?"

"Of course. Tavros and I go  _way_  back." You have to try your best not to roll your eyes at her theatrics. Instead, you turn around to see Kanaya standing at a table across the aisle. She's looking at some jewelry when you walk up next to her. It's not like leaving Terezi and Vriska for five minutes will make a difference.

"Karkat." She greets without looking up. Her fingers lightly brush over a necklace with a jade pendant. On the pendant is the same symbol that has been sewn onto her costume.

"Hey."

"Aren't you supposed to be with someone? Namely Terezi."

"She's not even ten fucking feet away."

"Oh, really?" There's an amused undertone in her voice before finally looking up at you. "Check again."

"They aren't going to run off..."

You turn around to look at the table you just came from, expecting to see Terezi and Vriska still talking.

Except: you don't.

"Shit."

Tavros and The Clown are talking to a group of people in their early twenties. Casually leaning back in their seats as if nothing is wrong.

"Jesus fucking christ it's like watching a five year old. A five year old with ADHD and psychopathic tendencies." When all Kanaya does is look at you with a worried face, you continue. "They'll be fine... right?"

"Two teenage girls running around in a nearly full convention, one of whom is blind. What could possibly go wrong?"

Letting out a groan your eyes close in frustration. "I'll go look for them..."

And you do. Kanaya helps as you look everywhere while trying to manage not getting lost yourself. Which you realize is more difficult than it sounds. By the time an hour has past, a small pit of worry is beginning to form in the back of your mind. Terezi can take care of herself, even on a bad day. You know that. But the rising panic won't settle the fuck down no matter how many times you try to tell it to.

Snaking around people, you see that there's a fairly empty aisle. You push and shove your way until there's finally room to catch your breath.

What the fuck are you going to do? Kanaya has checked the bathroom, and you've been looking everywhere else. Speaking of Kanaya, you see her look down the aisle and wave her over. Thank fucking god because you aren't sure how much longer you'll last before flipping the fuck out at someone.

"Have you seen her?"

"No." You drag a hand down your face at her response.

"When we find them, she isn't going to know what hit her. Security will have to evacuate everyone from the shitstorm that they have fucking caused."

"Are you okay?"

You aren't sure why, but it's that question that causes everything to fall apart.

"No I'm not fucking okay! The entire point of me dragging my fucking existence here is to keep an eye on her. And what does she go and do? The stupidest fucking thing possible: run off within the first ten minutes of arrival. Why did I even come if this was going to happen?"

"It's alright to be worried, Karkat. I'm getting concerned, too."

You're suddenly appreciative of the crowd's noise when you notice that no one but Kanaya can hear you. "The only thing that I should be fucking worried about is whether or not I can refrain from turning into a seething puddle of fucking rage and loathing when we see them... Okay, I'm fucking worried. But I have a right to be."

"You haven't gone outside yet, have you?"

"No."

"Let's check there, then." You nod and follow her until the two of you have gone through the exit.

When you get outside, there are people in costumes scattered in groups. Most are eating what you can only assume is lunch.

"There they are." Kanaya speaks up from beside you. She points across the street to a park bench, where Terezi and Vriska are sitting and laughing.

It takes longer than you'd like to cross the street, but all of your worry has morphed into a fucking rage that manages to power you through it. When Vriska sees you, she nudges Terezi before they both grin in your direction.

'Hey, Karkat. Kanaya."

"You fucking piece of shit!" You do your best not to yell, but fail horribly.

"What's your problem?"

"My problem is that you fucking ran off without telling me where you were going. Do you realize how long it took to fucking find you?"

"We didn't think that you'd noti-"

"Over an hour! We spent  _over a fucking hour_  searching for your asses. And where are you? Giggling out here on a fucking park bench, reveling in your glorious recklessness."

She stands up at that, leaving her cane on the bench as the grin is wiped off of her face. Good. It serves her fucking right. The only problem now, is that her boots have made her a good four inches taller than you. It makes your rage appear more of a temper tantrum than lecture.

"Just because I'm blind doesn't mean that you have to know where I am at all times, Karkat. Jeez."

You take a step forward. "Well, at least some fucking warning would have been nice. Kanaya was worried."

"She was?" Vriska speaks up, and for a moment you had forgotten that she was even there. Your glare snaps to her.

"We both fucking were! It wasn't like we knew what had happened."

You can tell that Terezi is trying to hide a satisfied smirk as you rant on. "Ten seconds. No, less than that. It would have taken _three fucking seconds_  at most to tell us you were leaving. What were we supposed to do if we couldn't find you because you were an idiot, and forgot some piece of vital - yet simple - information like how to get to the fucking hotel?" You decide to stop when she places a hand on your shoulder.

"Slow down, there. We're fine. You're fine. I guess... I'm sorry for worrying you. If it will stop you from freaking out, it won't happen again."

"Good."

With that, you step forward and grudgingly pull her in for a hug. "You're a fucking maniac, who either doesn't realize that there are fucking consequences to pulling shit like this, or just doesn't fucking care. I hate you."

She manages to hug you back, regardless of the fact that you're practically clinging to her now. "I hate you, too."

When you finally pull away, Terezi is smiling again, and Vriska is having a quiet conversation with Kanaya a few feet away. The latter keeps alternating between nodding and shaking her head.

It isn't long until Terezi is bumping into you, trying to grab your attention, though.

"Tavros and Gamzee invited us to hang out with them tonight."

"Those are their names? Jesus christ."

"Do you want to?"

"Sure."


	14. Chapter 14

The four of you agree to meet Tavros and Gamzee just outside of the convention after dinner. After a lot of bickering, everyone finally agreed to grab take out and eat it at a nearby park. Eating in a public place while wearing ridiculous outfits wasn't exactly your idea of "fun", but if you yell anymore today you're going to lose your fucking voice.

Gamzee had managed to find a fairly secluded area of the park so that there was no one in sight. There's a little breeze, but nothing too horrible. Tavros is in the middle of telling a story, and you're having a difficult time paying attention. While it could be the fact that he pauses far too much for your liking, you're guessing it's because of Terezi. Or, more specifically, the fact that she hasn't let go of your hand since this morning.

At first, you tried ignoring her. However, all she did was take it as a sign to persist. It took three times of Terezi brushing her hand against yours before you let out a huff and took the god damn thing in your grasp. At least that way, you wouldn't have to be constantly knocking into her.

It's a bit awkward, as you try to eat your pizza with one hand. Strings of cheese fall onto the grass as you do your best not to burn your tongue on it. However, she doesn't seem to mind the challenge. For some reason, it doesn't fucking surprise you one bit.

Apparently this is when Tavros tells the punchline of his story, because everyone else is laughing. You do your best to fake a chuckle, but just end up feeling like an idiot. Kanaya ends up looking over at you, before her gaze falls to the space between you and Terezi where your hands are sitting. Pretty soon Vriska looks as well, and it's not long before all of them are practically staring at you.

"What?" You snap, and swallowing down the rest of your pizza. No one says anything, but they know that they don't need to. The looks of fucking amusement are enough. "Can't a guy fucking help someone else without having people look like he's grown a third fucking head? You guys should be fucking praising me for this."

"We, just, uhm." Tavros nearly gulps when your glare is directed to him. "We didn't know that you and Terezi were, well, together. Like that, at least."

Suddenly it feels like that pizza is making it's way back into your mouth.

"No. Hell no. Jesus christ, sure maybe Vriska would think that, but I didn't expect something like this from you Kanaya. You know how much I hate Terezi." You do your best to make a convincing argument, but know that it isn't getting through to anyone. Everyone can tell that it's a lie. Everyone knows that you're lying and there isn't anything you can do. Your mind begins to search frantically for something to convince them, and the next thing you know, you're pulling your hand away from Terezi. You instantly miss the heat from her palm, but this will be worth it.

"No fucking way. The day that there is something between Terezi and I, is the day that I am admitted into a psych ward. Never happening. N-"

"We get it, Karkat!" Terezi finally snaps at you. She's still facing forward, the smile on her face suddenly strained.

Oh.

You go quiet, and eventually conversation resumes. Slowly but surely the rest of the food begins to disappear, until everyone is just sitting.

Neither Terezi nor you say anything until it's decided that it's acceptable to go back to the con. Everyone stands up, and you quickly take the opportunity to grab her hand again. Obviously something is upsetting her, and you're supposed to make her feel better. Because that's what friends fucking do, you reason with yourself.

As everyone begins walking back, the two of you fall behind the rest of them. You look over at her and frown.

"Okay, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Hmm?"

"What's going on?"

"Nothing." She gives you a forced smile, and you can tell every word is that comes out of her mouth is a lie.

"Don't try to feed me bullshit. You haven't laughed in at least ten minutes. That must be a federal crime somewhere." You throw in the Law & Order reference, hoping that it will get her to say something. Fuck you do not want to deal with a sulking Terezi right now.

"Nothing's wrong, Karkat." Her tone is teasing again, but you still manage to hear her mutter "jesus" under her breath bitterly.

Instantly, you stop walking, pulling her back with you. No way you are putting up with this shit. It needs to get resolved right fucking now, before something happens that gets you both kicked out of the con before you even get inside.

"Just... tell me what's up." As you stand with Terezi in the middle of the sidewalk, she pulls her hand out of your reach.

"It's none of your business, Karkat."

"I'm just trying to be an unselfish asshole for once! This is what friends do, isn't it?"

"As opposed to sleeping in the same bed over night?"

That stops you for a minute. What the fuck is her problem? "And what in the ever loving fuck do you mean by that? Are you pissed at me or something?"

"Yes! Now just leave it alone."

Your voices must be getting louder, because Kanaya seems to have sent the others off before walking back to the two of you.

"Something wrong?"

"I wouldn't fucking know, because this ungrateful shit won't tell me!" You nearly fire at her.

You expect her to snap back at you, but instead, she only becomes eerily calm.

"The two of you are going back to the hotel with me. Now. We are sorting this out." Before you can try to argue, she's pulling the both of you along down the street.

* * *

Kanaya shuts the door to the hotel room behind her, and nearly stomps up to the two of you. It feels like you're a fucking five year old, sitting on the bed as you both look up at her.

The entire walk here had been silent, aside from your footsteps along with the clattering of heels.

"Okay. Clearly dealing with this in a calm and cultivated matter is out of the question." She places her hands on her hips. Normally you would think that it looks fucking ludicrous, but the spark in her eye warns you not to fuck around. Eventually you give in to her look. However, right when you choose to speak is when Terezi does as well.

"Terezi won't tell me what the fuck is wrong."

"Karkat is a douchebag."

Your eyes snap to her, "I'm sorry, but  _what?_ "

"You heard me."

"Well, you're a fucking maniac, but you don't hear me complaining."

"Actually, I do. Every day."

Before anyone can say anything else, Kanaya cuts in.

"Okay, that's enough. Terezi, would you mind telling Karkat why you're so angry with him?"

She crosses her arms, "Yes, I do mind. If his cherry filled rage can't figure it out, then I'm not telling him."

"So mature." Kanaya rolls her eyes, sarcasm fucking dripping from her words.

"Maybe I'll be immature for once. Not unlike Sir Crabby Pants over here."

"Oh, fuck you."

"Fuck you!"

You're both standing up again and Kanaya has to shake your shoulder to snap you out of it.

"I don't know what is going on anymore," she admits, "but we can deal with whatever it is when we get back. Don't let the entire weekend get ruined because of a mindless, petty fight."

Your shoulders sag slightly, and you nod.

"Karkat, you can go do what you'd like. I can spend the rest of the day with Terezi. We'll meet you back here tonight."

"Thanks." Taking that as your queue to leave, you step past her to exit the room.

You have no idea where the fuck Vriska went, but at this point you don't really care either.

While it's great that you get some time away from Terezi, you suddenly regret leaving the hotel room. At least you could have stayed and watched some poorly written television. But now, you have no idea what the fuck to do.

You end up walking back to the convention, just to wonder around aimlessly for a bit. That is, until you've found yourself back at Tavros' and Gamzee's table.

"Hey, my motherfuckin' brother. Where's Radglare?"

It takes a minute to realize that he's talking to you.

"Who the fuck is Radglare?" You look to Tavros for some sort of explanation. At least he can form literate sentences.

"Radglare is, uh, Gamzee's nickname for Redglare, I think?" He looks over for a nod of approval before continuing. "It's the, uhm, girl that Terezi seemed to be cosplaying, I'm pretty sure."

"Okay..." Glancing around, it doesn't seem to be quite as busy as earlier today. "Look, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here. Terezi is pissed, and now it's like I'm lost in the land of fucking life sized misfit toys. Can I sit with you idiots for a bit?"

"Sure, I guess."

You end up sitting on the other side of Gamzee, arms firmly crossed. It takes awhile, but eventually you manage to tolerate the smell of weed that's fucking radiating off of him. The two of you stay quiet as Tavros manages to stumble through friendly conversations with customers.

"So you and Radglare managed to go and get yourselves all up in a little motherfucking disagreement?" He eventually asks.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"Too bad, my brother." His voice seems to hold some sort of actual understanding. Before you know it, words are pouring out of your mouth like vomit.

"I don't even know why she's so fucking mad. I haven't said or done anything douchey today. At least no more than fucking normal. I tried asking her, but she won't fucking tell me. Oh my fucking god why am I even telling you about this shit? You don't care."

"Now there's your motherfucking problem. You been getting all down on yourself, which just ain't motherfucking right. You need to-" He pauses, clearly in deep thought. "You need to let the miracle chips fall where ever they feel like getting their motherfucking chip on."

All you can do is stare at him in amazement.

"I have no idea what the fuck you're saying."

"Bro, listen. Who said that they don't motherfucking care? I sure as hell didn't. I'm a be lettin' you get your story on like a motherfucking gentleman. So chill out and go with the motherfucking flow."

"Do you want me to shut up or not?"

"Just go with the motherfucking flow, my Bro." He simply states, leaning back and folding his hands behind his head. There's a bit of a self-satisfied smirk on his face. "Now what is the flow of the fucking miracles telling you to do?"

You don't know how or fucking why, but you end up tell Gamzee nearly everything. All of the pent up hate for Terezi, everything else you may or may not feel for her, and most of all - what the hell you could have possible done to screw up this time. He listens, and occasionally interrupts, but lets you vent most of the time. When he does cut in, it's usually to talk more about "motherfucking miracles". For some reason - just like the constant smell of weed - you adapt to it. To the point where you decide that he might not be the idiot you had assumed of him.

By the time you're heading back to the hotel room there's a piece of paper with two new Pesterchum handles written on it in your pocket. You feel a bit better, but no amount of sympathy from anyone is going to unfuck this mess. Even you know that.

When you get to the room, it's empty. You let out a sigh of relief, and decide to take the opportunity to have a shower. At least if you do it now, there won't be a chance of anyone trying to walk in - regardless of the locked door.

So you do your best to quickly have a shower, and by the time Kanaya, Terezi, and Vriska return, you're laying down, watching television.

The latter two ignore you, both immediately heading to the bathroom. Kanaya, however, walks over to you.

"I sure hope you don't plan on switching that soaked pillow for my dry one."

"Wouldn't dream of it." You reply sarcastically.

Either way, she leans over and grabs the dry pillow before setting it on the other bed.

"Is Terezi still angry?"

"Reasonably, yes."

"Why can't I know what I did?" You sit up, facing her as she takes a seat on Vriska's side of the other bed.

"It's the principal, Karkat. No one wants to have the responsibility of constantly telling someone when they've misbehaved. If you think long enough, I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out. You aren't  _that_  incapable."

By the time everyone else is asleep, you're still lying awake. You try to think of every possible thing that you could have done. You replay events over, and over, until they're burned into your memory. However, it's not until you're about to fall asleep yourself that you realize what you did wrong.


	15. Chapter 15

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you are currently speeding. Metaphorically, symbolically, literally. Kanaya and Vriska are both asleep in the backseat as Terezi sits next to you. Needless to say, although you're both exhausted (honestly, it's a fucking miracle you're driving right now), the tension could be cut with a fucking knife.

You had decided not to speak to Terezi right away. If you tried to too soon, you were worried that she'd just ignore you. After much debate, it was clear that the option was to wait it out until after the con. At least, that's what you try to tell yourself. In reality, Kanaya kicked you out of the room (fucking  _again_ ), before you could say a word to anyone. Apparently she was taking extra precautions for your second and final day.

So there you were: practically fucking homeless, alone, with nothing to do. Against your better judgement, you hung around Tavros and Gamzee for the most of the day. While you saw it as pathetic and desperate, they didn't seem to mind too much. It was actually a bit refreshing to be around some new people.

But no matter how great the day had been, you still had to leave. Which brings you here. Driving down a highway in the dark, with the girl who hates you and an hour to go.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

You want to talk to her. To say something - anything - that would stop this fucking silent treatment. However, no matter how much you want to, you can't. There's something holding you back. Maybe it's the idea of her yet again not giving another response. Or maybe the fact that you're pretty certain Kanaya will bitch-slap you into next week if you wake her up with your arguing. Either way, you don't say a word. Neither does she. In fact, the only sound is Vriska's loud as hell snoring which is really starting to get on your fucking nerves.

When you pull up Terezi's driveway, the first thing you do is turn to say something. But no matter how fast you go, she's out the door with her cane before anything can be said or done. You're sitting there for a few minutes, fucking stunned, when Vriska wakes up.

"Are you going to take us home, or are you not finished stalk your girlfriend yet?"

"Fuck you."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I meant  _ex-girlfriend_."

* * *

It's Monday, and you're ready. You're going to go up to Terezi at her stupid "coolkid" table at lunch and talk.

And she is going to fucking listen.

You don't bother dropping your stuff off with Kanaya when entering the cafeteria. You can tell that she knows your mission from the look on your face. So instead, you take your tray straight up to the table with John Egbert, Jade Harley, Rose LaLonde, Dave Strider, Vriska Serket, and most importantly: Terezi Pyrope.

"Terezi, we need to talk."

Her conversation becomes even more animated than usual.

"God dammit, Terezi!" That seems to get her attention. She turns to you slowly.

"What do you want?"

"I figured out why you're angry at me."

"And why is that?"

"I guess, I did overreact a bit at the con. But in my defense, how else was I supposed to act?" You expect her to look at least somewhat relieved at your discovery. Because, really, you did it. You figured out your fuck up all by yourself. However, it seems that your expectations are set a bit too high. Instead she scowls; offended.

"Are you kidding me right now?" She snaps, irritation written all over her face.

"What?"

"You really think I'm angry over something that  _stupid_? Nice try, but that isn't it."

"But-"

"Nope."

"You-"

"Case closed."

"Then just fucking tell me what's wrong!"

"Hey!" Jade snaps at you from across the table, eyes shooting daggers. "Just because Terezi decided to stop putting up with your bullshit doesn't mean that you get to yell at her for it."

Since when were they friends?

"What's wrong, Terezi." You say sneer, "Can't even get Vriska or Strider to defend you anymore?" It's a low blow, but Serket readily cuts in.

"That's not it at allllllll. This is just getting too good to stop."

Meanwhile, Terezi raises an eyebrow. Clearly challenging you. "And what if I don't tell you? Maybe I'll just let you lie wide awake at night, wondering what you could have possibly done to piss off the jury. It certainly would be a righteous punishment." She lets out a small giggle, but it's new. It doesn't have the hint of warmness, or humour. Instead, it's filled with bitterness, and hate. Why is she being so fucking difficult with this?

"Well, I'm not going to apologize when I don't know what I fucking did!" You should stop right there, but without thinking, every one of your thoughts pour out. Each one rushed faster than the previous. "Not to mention that I'm getting tired of this shit. Whenever we fight, I'm the one who has to fucking admit defeat to your sorry ass. Guess what? I'm sick of it. All you're doing is being a stubborn brat."

"Okay, what are you even talking about anymore?"

You drop your tray onto the table loudly, throwing your hands up in defeat. "I'm saying that I'm fucking tired of being the one who's always wrong. I'm always the person who screws up and needs to apologize just because you get angry or upset."

The chair clatters when she stands up, hands smacking against the table.

"Well maybe if you didn't send so many  _fucking_  mixed signals all the time, I wouldn't get upset in the first place!" You're fairly certain that everyone in the cafeteria has given your their attention by now.

"What the fuck do you mean by that?"

"Every single day you tell me just how much you hate me, Karkat! And I put up with it. Well, I'm getting pretty tired of it, too. I'm tired of hearing how much I annoy you, only to have you acting like you  _do_  like me not even ten minutes later!" Shit. Maybe you had been sending some mixed signals there. "Do you realize how hard it is? Probably not! Sometimes it's like the only feelings you care about are your own! I mean, if we had kissed once, it would be understandable. But, no. We fucking made out so many times that I've lost count!"

Dave mumbles a small, "Well, shit." under his breath from beside you. Guess the cat has finally been let out of the fucking bag.

When Terezi speaks again, her voice is much cooler than before. "So maybe you just need to accept that this time, there isn't going to be a second chance. Now, unless you'd like to try - and fail - at defending yourself some more, I have things to do."

"I hate you." Your voice is quiet, but full of venom. There's a truthfulness in your words, and when Terezi says it back, there's no doubt that she actually means it this time, too.

You don't say a word as Vriska helps her collect her things, and leads her away.

* * *

The next week is the most painful one you've had to endure in a while. You guess that after spending so much time around  _her_ , everything else fell apart. There's nothing for you to do now, and it's driving you fucking insane.

That's why you're able to bribe Sollux into coming over with video games and junk food.

"So that's it?" He asks after a mouthful of chips.

"That's what?"

"You're never going to speak to her again?"

You curse loudly as a sniper shoots you. "That's the plan."

"Pretty depressing, KK."

"I never said it wouldn't be. Now cover my ass. Or I swear to god that the next time I fucking die, you're going down with me."

Needless to say, you've never been very good at video games. At least the ones that Sollux plays. And with your luck, he's never thought to hide this fact from you.

"Why are we even playing this? You suck so badly at it."

"Because it involves my two favourite things." You snap, not taking your eyes off of the television. "Yelling at inanimate objects, and ranting about my problems like a narcissistic asshole."

"Is _that_  why you stayed with TZ for so long?"

You pause the game, and let the controller fall onto the floor with a small thud. When you turn, you're face to face with those fucking 3-D glasses that you doubt Sollux even really NEEDS anymore.

"First of all, I was never - as you so fucking elegantly put it - 'with her'. And second of all, why do you keep bringing it up?"

"Just trying to help your sorry ass."

"Well, you don't need to. It's not like I've turned into some old homeless man who just wants a fucking coat for Christmas to be able to stay warm in some dark, cold alley late at night. I don't need anyone's fucking help, okay?"

His face is void of emotion as you pinch the bridge of your nose. Fuck. "... Sorry. That was uncalled for."

"Yes, it was. Now let's get back to the goddamn game." He leans over and picks up the controllers for you before handing it over.

By the time you've given up, Sollux is stifling a laugh. You shove him. Hard. However, it has the opposite affect of what you wanted, and he only laughs more. Fucking hell. You're ready to ask what the hell is wrong with him, when his phone beeps. Immediately upon reading it, he sobers.

"What?" You demand.

"Nothing. I just... have to go."

"Where?"

"What are you, my mother? Nice try, but I'm not getting dragged into this." You're ready to harass him some more, but the doorbell cuts you off. He lets out a small snicker before grabbing his stuff.

You follow him to the front door just in time to see your dad answer it. And who should be fucking there, but Little Miss LaLonde and Kanaya. Cursing under your breath, you approach them tentatively.

"Good luck, man." Sollux manages to mutter, slipping between you and the wall in order to leave. He must be enjoying this so fucking much.

"Not so fast!" You grab his sleeve to tug him backwards - nearly colliding into you. "Don't leave me with them! Do you realize what they put me through last time?"

"Yeth, I do." He hisses, lisp suddenly much more prominent. "And that'th ecthactly why I'm leaving." He pulls himself out of your ironlike grip, gives a small nod to the Meddling Gang of Two, and slips out of sight.

You are going to fucking kill him. You're planning on various and elaborate strategies on how to carry out his execution as they both lead you back to your room, before shutting the door quietly.

While you sit in your chair, Kanaya chooses a place on the bed. She watches Rose carefully - almost like she's worried about what she'll think. Meanwhile, Rose glances around, fucking assessing your room as if she is mentally taking notes of your personal habits.

Eventually she does sit next to Kanaya, and you both let out a small breath of relief. You don't know what you were expecting. Maybe a lecture on how to properly organize a closet, or what the colour of your socks really meant about your deep, hidden sense of self hatred. Either way, it's Kanaya who chooses to speak first.

"Karkat, we're here about what happened at lunch."

"Of fucking course you are."

 


	16. Chapter 16

"I think you know why we're here, Karkat." Kanaya ignores you calmly. You glance down before answering, only to see that she's holding Rose's hand.

"Yes. And I think that you know what I'm going to say."

Rose takes this moment to finally speak, "Most likely that we should all mind our own business. However, it was after much debate that Kanaya and I agreed we should visit you."

Exhaling loudly, you lean back and stare at the ceiling. "Get on with it then."

"Karkat," Kanaya begins, "we're doing this because we care. Whatever you two were fighting about-"

"I know that you know, Kanaya."

"Yes, but I was trying to use a little something called tact."

You mumble an apology that sounds more like you're mumbling to yourself than anything else.

"The point is," she continues, "that we care about what's going on. Right now - although you may refuse to admit it - you're falling apart in her absence. I don't like to see one of my closest friends in so much pain."

"I'm not in any goddamn pain!" You go to slam your hand on the desk beside you, but miss terribly. Instead, your hand scrapes against against the sharp edge. Swearing loudly, you glare at them both. "Don't you dare say a fucking word."

Rose leans forward, eyebrows drawn together. "Why are you so angry at Terezi, Karkat?"

"You know why." You growl at her, "You were fucking there for god's sake."

"I'm not just talking about now. Ever since you've met her, Kanaya has been kind enough to inform me of your reaction towards this girl."

"She has?" You turn, looking to Kanaya for an explanation.

"You didn't exactly keep it a secret."

Rolling your eyes, Rose continues to fucking drone on at you. "So, after all of this time, why didn't you stop until now? Why did you even hate her in the first place?"

"Well obviously because I-" You freeze. You had been about to say because you're fed up with everything. Sick and tired of dealing with her bullshit. You gave up because you hate the roller coaster of emotions she brings along. Because you don't think that you can go another fucking day having to listen to her laughter at lunch, and... knowing that you didn't cause it for once.

Most of all, though - you hate her because she's always been so  _forward_. So ready to be in a fucking relationship with you. Ready to always be so fucking  _open._

Meanwhile, you always take off like a scared little boy running from the monsters under his fucking bed.

You're staring at the ground, but the look on your face must be alarming because soon Rose stands up.

"I should go. You probably have some things to think about. It was nice to see you, Karkat." You don't reply, and she gives a small goodbye to Kanaya before showing herself out. Luckily, she shuts the door behind her.

"Are you okay, Karkat?"

"No." You deadpan. Kanaya stands up, and makes the effort to lead you to the bed. While she takes her previous place, you sit where Rose once was. Slowly, you take in a deep breath and close your eyes.

"I... really fucked up, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did. But that's alright. Everyone makes mistakes."

Hearing it out loud seems to make it feel even worse than before. You lean against her, trying to blink your eyes dry. She manages to wrap an arm around your shoulders comfortingly.

"It's alright." She says softly, "We're going to fix this."

You keep your eyes fixed on the floor, while your voice is emotionless. This is it. You've officially fucking snapped. Now where is your goddamned prize because going through all of this shit for nothing is not an option anymore.

"She hates me, Kanaya. Terezi told me that she hates me, and this time she actually meant it." You want to rant about it. Get angry. Anything other than the dull throbbing in the back of your head that's a constant reminder of your mistake.

"You've said the same to her on many occasions." She rests her head on top of yours. "It won't be the end of the world. Now that you've learned from your mistakes, we need to decide what to do next."

"We?"

"I'm not letting you mess this up yet  _again_ , Karkat."

* * *

At school, you enter the library with a look of determination plastered onto your face. It takes a few glances around, but finally you see it. The white-blonde hair is glaring out at you like a fucking lighthouse. The head is hunched over some textbooks, headphones blaring whatever music that douchebag listens to.

"Strider!" You say, approaching him quickly. However, he doesn't hear you. You're forced to rip the headphones off of his head before letting them fall onto the floor.

"What the hell was that for?" He asks defensively, leaning over to pick them up.

"Listen, asshole. I need a favor."

"Sure."

That stops you right in your tracks. "Wait, what? Just like that?"

"Yeah, man."

"But...  _why_?" You eye him suspiciously, and pull a chair out to sit on the other side of the table.

"Because yolo, bitch."

You do your best not to fume, and somehow manage to keep your mouth shut until you've gained some goddamn self control over what might come out of it.

"Are you physically incapable of spewing more than one syllable words from that sad excuse of a mouth, or is your vocabulary actually that pathetic?" Okay, maybe you didn't keep it shut long enough.

"I am a man of many words, Vantas." He deadpans from behind his fucking 'ironic' sunglasses. "Two of those words being 'fuck' and 'you'."

"So are you going to fucking help me out or not?"

Dave gives you the smallest of smirks. "Are you telling me that there's yet another opportunity to possibly piss you off? Count me in."

* * *

You know that you don't want to deal with Strider again after what happened in the library. So the next day you manage to convince Kanaya to speak with Rose. Asking her if she will give your message to him, so there won't be any direct interaction.

Because if you need anything right now, it's certainly not him being an annoying asshole.

Thankfully, Rose agrees. The only downside is that there are now three people roped into your plan, rather than just Kanaya. She tries to reassure you that it will be okay, but so far it doesn't help.

"He's going to screw something up, I fucking know it." You grumble, arms stretched out.

"Rose won't let anything happen. Now I need to ask you to please stop moving." There's a slight irritation in her voice, and you silently oblige.

"Thanks for doing this, I guess."

"Of course. It's benefits us both equally, after all."

Kanaya steps back with the measuring tape, smiling slightly. You had agreed to let her make you an outfit - with the promise that if it was ridiculous, you wouldn't have to wear it. Because while the plan required some nicer clothes, you aren't willing to pass out the majority of your money for it.

That was what you and Kanaya have gotten into the habit of calling it: The Plan. The two of you had worked for nearly three days trying to figure out what would or wouldn't be appropriate. When and where it would occur. If you had been with anyone else, you guess that it would have ended horribly. However, Kanaya managed to remain patient with you.

_"Where were you thinking of doing this?"_

_"At school, I guess. Why?"_

_"No."_

_"What? Why not?"_

_"We don't want a repeat of what happened before. No. This time, it needs to be outside of school. Preferably on a weekend."_

_"Fine. But in a place full of people."_

_"Agreeable."_

_"Why the fuck is that an agreeable point?"_

_"Because if this blows up in our faces, I don't want to be seen with either of you while it happens."_

So now, you've gotten yourself into a mess of fabrics, measuring tapes, and pins. "This better be fucking worth it." You mutter at her. Suddenly you're reminded of the last time you said that, and it takes a full five minutes to stop freaking out.

There's so much riding on this that you can't even consider the possibility of fucking it all up. Again.

"It will be." She tries to reassure you for the millionth time today. "Now don't move."

* * *

It's lunch, and fuck the cafeteria is louder than it should be. Of course it is today of all days that the entire fucking student body decided to crowd around you. How fucking lucky.

"So," Sollux begins talking the moment you sit down. He must have gotten to the table early to wait for you, because Eridan and Feferi are nowhere in sight. "Kanaya told me all about your plan for tonight."

"And?" You rub your temples just waiting for him to make some sly comment. The majority of your morning had been spent in the nurse's office, complaining of a headache. To be honest, you aren't sure that you can handle what he's prepared to say.

"Congrats."

That surprises you.

"Wait, what?"

"I was giving you a momentary compliment of the positive variety." He deadpans before beginning to eat.

"Oh. Thanks, I guess. Wasn't expecting that."

"Your faith in me is outstanding."

"... What's going on with you?" It comes out more accusingly than you'd like.

"Feferi isn't going to be eating lunch with us for awhile."

"Why the fuck not?"

Sollux stares at the table, and his mumbled words bring out that fucking lisp again. "The thaid that the 'needed to take thome time to thort out her feelinth'."

"No fucking way."

"Yup."

"Shit... I'm sorry."

"I'm dealing with it." He finally looks up to meet your gaze. "What about you? Are you ready for tonight?"

"Not really. But it's not like I have much of a fucking choice."

"Have to admit. Getting Dave Strider to ask her out, only to have her meet up with you instead. Wasn't expecting that."

"Do you mean that in a good way or a bad-"

"Hell, it's almost like kidnapping. Except neither of you are exactly kids anymore."

A sly smile falls on his face in response to your glare. Suddenly you've lost your appetite.

"Jesus fucking christ. As if I didn't have enough to worry about! Thanks a lot, asshole!"

"You're welcome." He snickers lightheartedly at your outburst.

* * *

One hour.

One. Fucking. Hour.

You try on the jacket and tie Kanaya made for you. Meanwhile, she circles around you like a hawk as you stand in the middle of her room.

"Just tell me if I look okay or not! It's not that fucking difficult."

"No need to get impatient, Karkat. Yes, you look fine."

"Thanks." You mutter, pulling at the sleeves. The jacket is black, and far more fitted than you're used to. While it doesn't necessarily itch, it still makes you uncomfortable as fuck. She stops pacing to slap your hand.

"I put a lot of effort into this outfit. Don't go and ruin it five minutes after trying it on."

Looking over to the clock, you freeze. Five fifteen. Less than an hour, now.

"I shouldn't be doing this. It isn't going to work. She'll do something shitty, and I'll get angry. Then we'll never fucking speak again."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because that's what happens every fucking time we're around each other!"

"Karkat." Kanaya grabs you by the shoulders, her green eyes staring into your fucking soul. "Do you need to spend some time alone?"

"Yes, please."

Without saying anything else, she grabs her laptop off of the bed and hands it to you. "I'll be back when it's time to go. Please try not to ruin your outfit."

**\- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering terminallyCapricious [TC] at 17:21 -**

**CG:**  HEY

**TC:**  wHaT iS uP mY rAgIn BrOtHeR?

**CG:**  I NEED TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

**TC:**  aNd WhAt Do YoU wAnT mE tO dO?

**CG:**  ANYTHING. I DONT FUCKING CARE ANYMORE.

**CG:**  JUST

**CG:**  DISTRACT ME OR SOMETHING.

**TC:**  sUrE tHiNg MoThErFuCkEr. :o)

**TC:**  hAvEnT sEeN yOu OnLiNe LaTeLy. HaVe ThOsE mIrAcLeS bEeN aLl Up AnD dIsTrAcTiN yOu?

**CG:**  WHILE YOU ARE THE FUCKING WORST AT DISTRACTING PEOPLE

**CG:**  YES. ILL BE GOING TO SEE TEREZI IN A BIT.

**TC:**  rAdGlArE? iT mOtHeRfUcKiN lOoKs LiKe ThE mIrAcLeS fInAlLy HeLpEd A bRoThEr OuT. :o)

**CG** : NOT EXACTLY. I STILL NEED TO CONVINCE HER TO FUCKING FINALLY FORGIVE ME FOR PUTTING HER THROUGH SHIT.

**CG:**  AND CAN YOU NOT TYPE LIKE THAT? IT ISNT HELPING MY HEADACHE.

**TC:**  i gUeSs...

**TC:**  but it just feels like some weird motherfuckin shit is all up in here now bro.

**TC:**  like i be tryin to deny the miracles from goin where ever the fuck

**TC:**  tHeY wOuLd LiKe To Go.

**CG:**  SHIT I CANT DO THIS.

**TC:**  dO wHaT?

**CG:**  APOLOGIZE.

**CG:**  NOPE. FUCK I CANT BELIEVE IM BACKING THE FUCK OUT *AGAIN*.

**TC:**  yOu DoNt NeEd To Be WoRrIeD bRo.

**CG:**  YEAH RIGHT. YOURE HILARIOUS.

**TC:**  lOoK, iTs BeEn SeEmInG tO mE tHaT aLl a MoThErFuCkIn BrOtHeR nEeDs To Be DoInG iS gEtTiNg ThEiR mOtHeRfUcKiN mIrAcLe On.

**CG:**  WOULD YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE FUCKING MIRACLES?

**TC:**  nO. jUsT. hEaR mE oUt BrO.

**TC:**  aLl ThIs TiMe RaDgLaRe HaS bEeN yOuR oWn MoThErFuCkIn MiRaClE. bUt YoU jUsT iGnOrEd HeR.

**TC:**  aNd NoW.

**TC:**  aNd NoW yOu SeE tHaT. sO wHaT yOu NeEd To Do Is TrEaT hEr LiKe ThE mOtHeRfUcKiN gIfT fRoM tHe MeRcIfUl MeSsIaHs tHaT sHe bE aLl AlOnG. :o)

**CG:**  ...

**CG:**  WOW. I THINK THAT IS THE MOST SENSE YOU HAVE EVER MADE.

**CG:**  THANKS. I GUESS THAT MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY HELPED IN SOME WEIRD TWISTED AND SICK WAY.

**TC:**  gLaD tO hElP oUt A bRoThEr In A tImE oF nEed.

**CG:**  SHIT I THINK KANAYA IS COMING BACK.

**\- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering terminallyCapricious [TC] at 17:45 -**

_**\- carcinoGeneticist [CG] is now offline! -** _

You slam the laptop shut with more force than needed just as Kanaya enters the room.

"Are you ready to go?"

"It's not like it fucking matters if I'm ready or not." You grumble, standing up and setting the laptop back in its place on the bed.

* * *

The ride to the park is a quiet one. You and Kanaya had both agreed that choosing a park would give the right amount of openness, but at this time of year there wouldn't be many people around.

The plan is to drop you off, and wait until Kanaya came back with Terezi. While Terezi thought that she'd be going out with Dave, really she'd be meeting with you. While it wasn't the most appropriate of plans - it's the best you can come up with.

At least with Kanaya here, Terezi will be able to leave whenever she wants.

That, and she won't be able to strangle you.

By the time Kanaya has returned with her, you've gone over what you had prepared to say at least three times, and are beginning to pace.

When they both leave the car, you freeze. Judging by her teal dress, Terezi had decided to dress nicely, too. Fuck. Kanaya manages to slip unnoticed to a nearby park bench. It's just close enough to hear any signs of trouble. Silently, you thank her.

Approaching Terezi, you manage to croak out a "Hey."

"What are you doing here?" She snaps, before crossing your arms defensively. "And where's Dave?" It's not that surprising. After all, it  _was_  Strider she was supposed to meet here.

"I need to talk to you. This was the only way that I could get you to listen."

"Nope. I am not doing this." Jesus, Terezi is nearly as difficult as you. It's no wonder that she stopped dealing with your bullshit.

"Kanaya is right over there." You point over her shoulder before feeling like an idiot and lowering your arm. "On one of the benches behind you. You can leave whenever you want. Just... fucking hear me out first."

She crosses her arms, and steps back when you try to get closer. The movement is like a punch to the gut. Fucking hell, why did you think that this would be a good idea?

"I know you're upset. You have a right to be. If I were you, I'd be pissed as hell, too. But I need you to listen to me."

"Just get on with it already." She snaps.

You take a deep breath and try not to squirm in your new jacket.

"I'm an asshole. We both know it. That isn't an excuse for what I've been doing to you, I know..." You pause. "I don't like fighting with you. All it does is make us both feel like shit. But every time we talk it's like I want to punch myself in the face. Every single part of your personality frustrates me to the point that I'm surprised I haven't gotten a fucking ulcer from your shitty shenanigans. So... I'm done." You make sure to say the last words with a completely serious face. There can't be any chance of her thinking that this is all a joke. It isn't, and needs to get through her fucking head. Even if nothing else will.

Her left hand tightens around her arm. Yes. It's only a small reaction compared to what you had hoped, but hell. At least it's something. You take your chance to inch forward, and continue.

"I'm done with the confusion, and the mixed signals, and the pointless fighting. Okay - maybe not the fighting. But the point is - the other day I realized something. You're fucking uncontrollable, Terezi. A tornado in the middle of a fucking hurricane. Not  _really_  needed, but still happily adding to the chaos. And I can't handle it anymore. I can't keep hating you like this. It just... isn't fucking healthy. For either of us." You take in a shuddering breath. Suddenly there's a pain in the bottom of your ribcage, and jesus fucking christ you don't think that you can go through with this. Terezi's holding her glasses in her hands now, and it's clear that her eyes are watering; the reflection of the streetlight apparent. You're fairly sure that you can say the same for yourself.

Oh god. Maybe you should just stop here. Stop with it right now, and nothing else needs to happen. Move on.

However, the words are out of your mouth before you can stop them.

"That's why I wanted to suggest something else." You try your best to gauge another reaction, but there's nothing there. Nothing changes. Until finally, she speaks. It's not angry like before, but hurt.

"Like what?"

"Like... not hating you." You try to bargain. "And not worrying about all of the fucking mixed signals, or shitty feelings. Because no matter how much I say that I hate you with every fiber of my fucking being, I don't think I do. I think that... I hate myself for liking you so fucking much."

If this was any romance movie, or even a romantic comedy, this is surely the part where she would fall into your arms and everything would work out - one way or another. Credits would roll, and it would be a happily ever after.

But this isn't a movie. This is real life. It's Terezi, and you, and every fuck up in the past three months that's proven just how toxic this relationship could end up. When she says something again, it's obvious that Terezi knows this as well.

"What will happen when you get frustrated? Or I get annoyed with you again? We'll argue no matter what. Face it, Karkat. Our friendship has a criminal record worthy of being engraved on a plaque and sent to the Supreme Court."

Not really sure how to answer that, you just shrug. "Wouldn't it be worth a try?" You blink, and the tears that have been on the brink begin to fall down your face. You bring your sleeve up to dry them, even though it's highly likely that Kanaya will kill you for it later.

If Terezi says no, you honestly don't know what you'll do.

She purses her lips, deep in thought. It's a long silence, but finally does say something.

"I... I don't know."

You take a few more steps forward, until you're directly in front of her. "Look at me, I'm ready to get on my fucking knees here."

"I thought you were 'sick of admitting defeat' to my 'sorry ass'. Not to mention that we're both still angry."

"Things aren't going to magically get better if you say yes. I know that, but I'm also okay with it. If you're wiling to try, then so am I. And hell, if there is anything that I can guarantee you, it's that I am in a constant clusterfuck of anger. Jesus christ, Terezi. I thought you knew me better than this." Your voice slowly goes from serious, to something that hints a kind of fucked up humor.

"You honestly want to do this? Without backing out?"

"Yes."

A smile finally breaks out on her face at that. Before you know it, she's moving forward until your foreheads knock together. You take it as a sign to close the distance, and lean in to kiss her. Almost immediately familiar hands claw at the back of your neck as she encourages you.

It reminds you of all those other times, except now it's even better. Now, you aren't holding back. The knowing voice in your head has shut the hell up.

And you can finally fucking enjoy yourself.


	17. Epilogue

That August is a hot and dry one. It causes you to spend the majority of your time lounging around whatever dark, air conditioned room you can find. And while you usually don't mind the heat, it can make everything seem a little more annoying.

This includes Terezi.

You've slowly gotten used to her annoying tendencies. Or at least been able to put up with them by now. The laughter, the theatrics, the constant teasing and name calling. It's nearly second nature. But not _quite_.

"Jesus christ!" You burst, hunching forward as the blind girl giggles from behind you. Today is your one and only birthday. Terezi had convinced you earlier to come over for a bit in 'celebration' - using the pile of romantic comedies that her aunt owns as a bribe. According to her, it would be fine to watch them, because said aunt would be at work.

Offering to make some popcorn for the occasion, you had entered her kitchen innocently enough. It wasn't until a wet tongue ran across your neck that you snapped. "How many times to I have to tell you not to lick me before it gets through your fucking head!?" She only laughs in response.

You spin around, trying to do something. To do what, exactly, you aren't sure. Shake some sense into her, probably. However, when you  _do_  turn she isn't fucking there anymore. She's already running into the living room. You follow her until the only thing between you is a glass coffee table.

When you movie to go around it, Terezi begins walking in the other direction. You try going the opposite way. And so does she. There's a few minutes of chasing in an endless circle before you stop to catch your breath. The smile on her face is victorious and it takes all of your willpower to not just climb over the damn thing.

"How are you fucking doing this?" You ask, frustrated beyond all belief. "You're supposed to be blind!"

"Is someone upset because they can't catch their blind girlfriend?" Fuck. That's the first time she's referred to herself as your girlfriend before. Thinking back, it's pretty ridiculous that it took this long. Then again, the two of you had been taking things  _very_  slowly.

In most aspects, at least.

Regardless, her words do make you feel a bit better. Lighter, even. Fucking hell you're getting soft.

You're guessing that she tries to imitate you, because pretty soon there's a pout on her face. "Oh no, Karkat Vantas is as depressed as a blueberry." Taking the moment of vulnerability, you do your best to sneak around behind her. The floor is carpeted, so even your footsteps are now silent.

Luckily, she doesn't seem to notice what you're doing. Either that, or she's written you off as ignorable. That's why when your arms slip around her waist, hugging her from behind, you hear her muffle a noise of surprise.

"Okay, first of all." You pause to rest your forehead on her shoulder. "There is nothing depressing about blueberries. They are delicious as fuck, and you need to accept them into your fucking shit stain life as an equal to all other berries. What the hell happened to your stand for equality in the government, or whatever?" You're mocking her now, and she knows it.

"Screw off." There's a false sense of bitterness, and you know you've won.

Rather than taking the conversation any further, you hold onto of her shoulders and begin steering her towards the couch.

"What happened to us watching a movie? I didn't drag my ass out of bed at this ungodly hour to just chase you around."

"It's four in the afternoon." She snaps skeptically as you both sit down.

"Exactly. It's also fucking August. I should be able to sleep in until whenever I fucking feel like. If you were a normal teenager, you'd know that."

"Yes. Because you are the epitome of normalcy."

"Are we watching the movie or not?"

Suddenly, Terezi speaks in a much louder, and more authoritative voice. "All who wish to watch the tragic film of the romantic comedy genre, raise your hand."

You raise your hand, and slowly so does she.

"Fucking great, it's unanimous. So let's start watching it already."

A sweet smile falls on her face. Too sweet. "I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about."

"We both raised our hands, Terezi. I raised mine, and then you raised yours." You warn. She better not choose now of all times to stir up shit.

"What hands?" She's fucking beaming at you now. The nerve. "The judge doesn't see any hands!"

Your eyes widen in disbelief. "Oh my fucking god."

She laughs at your pain sadistically.

"I- But- And you-" And of course, your disbelief has caused you to start stumbling over your words like a fucking idiot. "You did NOT just do this to me. No. FUCK no. You were lying about the movies, weren't you? It was just to get me over here."

"It worked, didn't it?"

"I can not fucking believe you."

"Oh, shut up." Terezi turns, still smiling, and kisses you sweetly. Ignoring what is  _clearly_  your better judgement, you lean closer when she goes to pull away.

It's been four months since the two of you have sorted your shit out, and at the same time it feels like nothing has changed. There's still bickering, and petty arguments, and you're pretty sure everyone you know is ready to rip your fucking head off. There are times when you want to never see her face again. But at some point, you decide that this - whatever this relationship is turning into - is worth it.


End file.
